Over and over again I pleaded with God to save my marriage. Why didn’t he?”
It seems logical. If marriage is designed by God as a life-time covenant and you pray wholeheartedly for God to save your marriage, why wouldn’t he? It may make it seem like God doesn’t really care.
So, what gives?
Consider these five points:
God didn’t cause your divorce. When God doesn’t intervene and force your spouse to want to work out your marriage, it can seem like God deserted you. Divorce can seem like God’s fault because he failed to do what you asked. God never causes divorce so blaming God points the finger in the wrong direction. Divorce is caused by human choices.
God is close to the broken-hearted. That’s a promise of the Word in Psalms 34:18. It also says that the Lord also saves those who are crushed in spirit. Our pain can veil God’s presence but he is present.
God gives people free-will. God may not answer prayer if we ask him to override the free will he gives to people. Praying on behalf of another person is different than asking God to make a person do what we think they should. Free-will is a great gift from God because it allows us to choose to be in relationship with him. Otherwise, we would just be his pawns rather than his children.
God can take the mess humans create and redeem it. It is what God does. It is why Christ died. The Lord redeems those who follow him. During the gut-wrenching pain of my divorce I found this scripture that seemed to fit how I felt and I prayed it several times a day.
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.”
Psalm 51:10-12 (NIV)
He did. He will for you too. God is even working in you now if you are asking him to do so. Cling to this daily as he works in you to restore your spirit and relieve the pain of divorce.
God has a plan for you. “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11). Seek God’s plan for you.
Christian Inspiration: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.” 1 Peter 5:6
Talk with God
Reflect on this post and talk with God about your own situation.
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About the Author
Renee Smith Ettline, M.Ed. is founder of After Divorce Ministries, LLC, author of Peace after Divorce, and creator of the Peace after Divorce Workshop. Her Peace after Divorce Workshop group study is widely offered in churches and reaches across denominational lines. She builds on her background as an educational counselor, her Christian faith, and her own divorce experience to light a path for those who need support for healing from divorce.