Start a Support Group with Peace After Divorce Workshops. Click Here >
Start Your Personal Healing with Peace After Divorce Workshops. Click Here >

What to Do When a Child Rejects One Parent

Anna spoke quietly in the Peace after Divorce group at her church…

7172110_sMy son doesn’t speak to me since we separated. He lives in my house but doesn’t want anything to do with me. He wants to go live with his dad. He says he hates me.

Layered on top of the pain and grief of divorce, Anna is now facing the rejection of her son. Not a simple issue.  Being rejected by a child can leave a parent feeling desperate and totally out of control.

Recognizing the Problem

Like an adult, a child faces many adjustments as the result of separation and divorce. Normal adjustment challenges related to divorce shouldn’t be confused with becoming alienated from one parent. A child may be grumpy with you or not want to go somewhere with you as a part of the normal course of being a child even if divorce was not a factor.

On the other hand, if the child is showing a pattern of rejecting one parent a serious problem may be developing. If you are the rejected parent and the situation is progressing you may see the child developing a pattern where he or she:

  • Expresses defiance exclusively toward you or about you.
  • Loses sight of happy memories of time spent with you.
  • Avoids contact with you for no apparent reason.
  • Stays aloof when with you.
  • Verbalizes hate toward you.
  • Offers ambiguous reasons when asked about his or her anger toward you.
  • Rejects anyone viewed as an extension of you, for example, your friends and family.
  • Chooses to always side with the other parent when that parent is in conflict with you.

Why Does This Happen?

Good question.  A child may reject one parent for many different reasons.  Child-parent relationships are complex and separation and divorce add to the complexity.

Some of the reasons a child may reject a parent include that the child:

  • Picks up on and absorbs negative emotions the preferred parent has toward the rejected parent. This may be the result of overt bad-mouthing or more subtle expressions of the preferred parent’s thoughts and feelings.
  • Blames the rejected parent for the divorce.
  • Connects with the parent they feel has been wronged.
  • Has bonded with the parent who is less available due to unmet needs.
  • May not feel welcomed in the rejected parent’s home.

How Does Each Parent Contribute to the Problem?

Despite the child’s inability to explain why they now reject one parent, behavior happens for a reason. Actually, more likely a complex pattern of reasons. It can help to identify how each parent contributes to the problem.

Absorbing the negative emotions of one parent toward the other parent may have started long before the divorce. Sometimes a parent will unconsciously feed into a child’s hostile feelings toward the other parent. Sometimes it is intentional.

Most parents understand that children need a positive relationship with both parents. Yet, some parents are so angry with their ex that they intentionally act to create division between the children and their other parent. Each child in a family may respond differently to this influence.  Nonetheless, divisive behavior on the part of a parent undermines each child’s ability to have a healthy loving relationship with both parents.

Of course, in an ideal world, parents will work together to co-parent for the good of their children. This is unfortunately not always the case. For this reason, a disparaging remarks clause is often included in divorce agreements directing that neither parent should badmouth the other parent to the children.

If your ex is badmouthing you to your children and you cannot reason with him/her to correct the situation, you may have to fall back on this clause in your agreement. If your agreement is not yet final, be sure to speak with your attorney about including a disparaging remark clause.  Also, find out your legal recourse should your ex violates this clause.

Positive Steps Parents Can Take

Work with Your Child’s Other Parent in as Much as That is Possible

  • Don’t jump to conclusions. If you are the rejected parent, don’t be quick to blame your ex for your child’s behavior. If you do, you will most assuredly reduce that person’s willingness to cooperate with you. The other parent may not be intentionally driving a wedge between you and your child.  Get the facts.
  • Be nice to your child’s other parent. When your child sees that you two can get along it will lessen his need to choose between you.
  • Reason with your ex about the welfare of your child if at all possible to address the issue of the child rejecting one parent.
  • Seek help when your ex is sabotaging your relationship with your child and refuses to stop.  This is especially important if your ex has been diagnosed with a mental health issue.  Counseling can educate you on how to best deal with the person and help you grasp what will and will not be effective in your own coping.

Don’t Divide

  • Don’t manipulate your child to side with you against the other parent. You may feel comforted if your child prefers you to your ex but that is not healthy for your child.
  • Don’t badmouth the other parent. This can backfire and drive the child further from you if you are the rejected parent. If you are the preferred parent, it can damage your child by inhibiting a positive relationship with their other parent. Keep in mind that your child is half from you and half from their other parent. Demeaning the other parent can also inadvertently leave your child feeling demeaned.
  • Don’t ask your child to be the go-between in communications with the other parent. This can be very stressful for your child and build resentment toward you.
  • Don’t assume the child will be better off without the other parent (unless there is abuse).

Invest in Your Child

  • Even if the child is giving you grief, stay involved. Don’t give up on them. Give love, support, and guidance.
  • Communicate with your child but don’t force the issue. Make communicating with you safe by showing empathy and understanding. Blowing up at your child when your child blows up at you is counterproductive.
  • Spend time with your child. Being with your child is the only way to repair a damaged relationship.
  • Stay calm with your child. Try to understand what your child is experiencing. Patience will win out over anger.
  • Engage with your child, don’t ignore them when they are with you.

Be Proactive

  • Address the problem as soon as it starts to appear. The earlier you act the better.
  • If you are the preferred parent, encourage contact with the rejected parent.
    • If you give the child control over whether or not they have contact with the rejected parent the problem may evolve into full parental alienation.
    • Be okay when your child spends time with their other parent. Let your child know you’ll be fine while he or she is gone.

Have Empathy

  • Recognize that the unfamiliar can be scary for a child. It may take a while for a child to feel at home in each household.
  • Help create a sense of belonging for the child in your home. Establish routines. Create a space that the child can call their own. Being allowed to take a favorite toy to each parent’s home may help increase a child’s comfort level.

Accept Age-Related Developmental Issues

  • Realize that teenagers are teenagers. They are at an age where autonomy and identity are big developmental issues. Spending time with peers becomes more important than spending time with parents. Work with this reality to schedule your time with your child. Trying to work against this reality will only frustrate both of you.  Be flexible.

Equip Yourself and Your Child with Support

  • Dealing with a child who rejects you is stressful.  Give yourself and the child time and resources to work through the divorce experience. Build a support network of family and friends for yourself and your child.
  • Guide your child in positive ways to handle challenging situations with the other parent.
  • Remember, if you’re not able to resolve problems on your own you may find it helpful to seek counseling for yourself as a parent, as well as for your child.


When a child rejects one parent it can be heartbreaking for that parent. It is important to determine how each parent is contributing to this problem.  Each parent can take steps toward supporting healing between the rejected parent and the child.

Parent-child relationships are complex. Separation and divorce can increase the complexity. Early intervention is important. There are many things parents can do to contribute to healing if rejection is addressed before it becomes full parental alienation. If the problem is severe or escalating to full parental alienation, or if you are unable to gain cooperation from the other parent, professional help may be in order.

Making Information and Ideas Work

  1. Is your child rejecting a parent? What symptoms do you see that this may be progressing to or may have become a serious problem?
  2. Can you pinpoint any causes for this problem?
  3. Are you in anyway contributing to the problem?
  4. What changes do you need to make to facilitate a better relationship between this child and the rejected parent?
  5. Do you need to seek counseling to help you with this issue?

Talk with God

Ponder this reading and share your thoughts with God. Listen so that the Holy Spirit might fill you with wisdom and peace. What concrete actions do you need to take based on what God is saying to you?

Christian Inspiration:

Start children off on the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Children cover_edited-8Your Next Steps…

 About the Author: 

Hi, I’m Renee Smith Ettline.  Thanks for visiting my ministry website. I know first-hand how much divorce can complicate your life and I want to help you.  My own divorce experiences have led me to this ministry.  As a Christian who has been through divorce, and as a former educator and educational counselor, I dedicate my life to helping others like you through my writing and workshops.  I hope you found this article helpful. God bless!

Image Copyright: photokitchen / 123RF Stock Photo

39 Comments on What to Do When a Child Rejects One Parent

  1. Tammy Erwin says:

    Pathetic attempt of how people destroy the very value of a mother by blaming her and keeping her spirit down. Yuck

    • Renee Ettline says:

      Tammy, It’s indeed sad when this happens but it can happen to both mom’s and dads. Thank you for commenting.

  2. Toni Martindale says:

    It has happened to me. Both father and husband badmouth me to daughter, 15 years now. My son has been very courageous to keep up a relationship with me. I’m grateful for that. With her husband and father combining forces it’s hard to hope. I’ve never seen my three year old grandson, she didn’t tell me when he was born. She may have had another child by now. I’m 63 and may live another 20 or so years. We have both lost so much. I love my daughter and have reached out to her this many years.

    • Renee Ettline says:

      Toni, thank you for your comments. I’m sure that is difficult. May you find peace.

    • Jerrilyn says:

      Don t give up. Keep reaching out for a relationship. My friend s 15 year old grandson had been estranged from her for 13 years. Her daughter was 16 when he was born. My friend helped her raise him but then family tensions led to the girl moving out to raise him on her own. My friend became estranged from them. Her daughter was very stubborn and refused reconciliation. This weekend the boy was knifed in a park altercation with older teens and died. The funeral is tomorrow. Both women are now alone. I am encouraging my friend to continue to reach out to her daughter. The lesson is that no one knows how long we have on this earth.

      • Renee Ettline says:

        Jerrilyn thanks for your comment. Your points are well made.

    • Constance Moyo says:

      I’m so sorry you going through this. We share a similar story. It’s very sad. But there is hope.

    • Debbie says:

      I feel your pain!

  3. GammaGM says:

    God hates divorce. As for me, I can totally see why.

    • Renee Ettline says:

      Yes, I think God hates divorce because of what it does to His children. Thanks for your comment.

    • Shournagh Lavall says:

      I’m sure He does. But, as someone who experienced the downward spiral of domestic violence for over 20 years, before finally taking out a Violence Restraining Order on my ex-husband, I am sure that God didn’t want me in that toxic, crippling marriage any longer. And yes – after having a very close relationship with my daughter for 19 1/2 years – my ex, along with his mother and sister, turned her completely against me. I have not seen her for 4 1/2 years.

      • Renee Ettline says:

        Shournagh, thanks for commenting. Domestic violence is indeed a downward spiral. I’m glad you are safe now. God understands the pain you have over the absence of your daughter. Not only that, He also cares. I know it’s hard, but pray for her, place her in God’s hands, and let go. Trust that God walks with you every day. I just prayed for you, your daughter and the whole situation. Whether or not there is restoration with your daughter, I pray that you find the peace that passes all understanding. God bless you.

  4. Michael M says:

    my ex wife sought to deliberately alienate me from my kids, especially my daughter and now that she is a teen I rarely see her. It is sad that an ex will go to such lengths to punish their ex-spouse not realizing that ultimately they are hurting the child. It takes me all my strength not to resent this abusive and manipulative on the part of my ex. Regrettably there is little I can do because she won’t answer the phone and rarely texts unless she needs money. This is probably the most awful unintended consequence of divorce. No parent deserves to lose their kids in this insidious manner.

    • Renee Ettline says:

      You’re so right Michael. Children should never be used as pawns by their parents.

    • Rambo says:

      Michael, I am in the same situation but there is court ordered therapy required. Be persisitent and visit the child at school or somewhere in person. Unbelievable what a vindictive parent will do to the point of falsely stating the ex was a wife beater to cause alienation. This all sad and many folks dont think of family destruction and kids. just work on the marriage and preserve it. That’s so much easier.

  5. Gary says:

    I was married 32 years. We adopted our daughter when she was 6 months old, just 17 years ago. I loved her from the day she met me as a baby. My wife and I are now separated and getting divorced. My little girl won’t as much as even return a one word text.
    I text her almost every day and wish her a good night but no reply. I asked my ex about it but she won’t even talk to me, just text with a one liner. I asked about our daughter not communicating and my ex said … she has a mind of her own! I am heartbroken, Shed tears everyday, wake at night and think. Its affecting my work and I have no desire for much of anything.

    • Renee Ettline says:

      Gary, Thank you for commenting. What you are experiencing can be understandably devastating and is possibly compounded by your daughter’s age. A communication gap between 17 year olds and their parents is an age-old problem. Her choice to not correspond at all is especially difficult for you I’m sure. Have you talked with a counselor about the best way to relate to your daughter given your specific circumstances? That might prove helpful. Meanwhile, you have a second part to your challenge and that is how to cope with this in a way that doesn’t affect your sleep, your work, and your desire for life. As hard as it is to believe, you can learn to accept that there may be little you can do about the situation right now. You can find peace for yourself by turning this over to God. Sometimes our very intensity to have a relationship with another person can in fact further turn that person away. Realize that God wants what’s best for you. Believe that he has the bigger picture. Continue to love your daughter but trust God to heal this relationship no matter how long it takes. I will share your story with our prayer leader so that we may all pray for you and this situation. I pray that you find peace.

  6. Hurt says:

    Married at 19 and now 18yrs later my wife and me are separated and filing for divorce we have two boys 16 & 12 I’ve always had to work alot to make ends meet now for that reason my boys don’t want to see or talk to me they told me I’m not thought of as a dad and I’ve never done anything or been there for them last conversation we had they told me if I go through with the divorce then there done with me. At the same time I can’t go back home to my wife ive stayed as long as I can in a verbally and physically abusive relationship it’s embarrassing that happened so many times but I stayed in it to be with my kids and in hopes tomorrow would be a better day

    • Cynthia says:

      I can relate to the pain you are going through. I have a lot of support from friends and family it keeps me strong but it does not take the pain away my ex makes me look like the bad parent even when I never invited my children to our wedding. I wish he would stop saying nasty things about me. It becomes a competition now one I dont want to have. Think of positive things in your life each day. Focus on where you want your future to head. I have learnt not to be dragged down never forget how abused you were your ex will keep trying to abuse you remember why you left in the first place. Just be patient kind and appreciate when you do get time to even speak to your children just listen to them no judgement they feel pain too.

  7. Cynthia says:

    I married at 16 husband was 19 rough 32 years of marriage my ex husband was extremely abusive and an alcoholic tried several times to leave him. My children are now 30 and 24 I separated for good 4 years ago and found my new husband and have been married now for almost a year now. Sadly my ex gets both my children to be a go between. I have lost contact with both my children its devastating. They were not invited to my wedding too much fighting going on. The once father they were afraid of has now become their preferred parent. I am lost and cry all the time. My escape from abuse and torment is costing me my relationship with my children

    • Renee Ettline says:

      I can hear your pain in your words. Pray for your children and trust them to God. It’s hard to turn them over to God but in doing so there is peace. God is close to the broken hearted. Trust Him. Thank God that you are free from abuse. Ask God to bless your new marriage. Focus on cultivating the joy in that relationship. Read Philippians 4:8. It tells us “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Verse 9 goes on to say, “And the peace of God will be with you.” God bless you Cynthia.

  8. Rosemarie says:

    I was married for 21 years to a very passive aggressive husband who would give me the silent treatment instead of communicating. The silence was killing me. It took me 5 years to make up my mind to leave him. When I did, it was the hardest thing to do and my now 17 year old son hates me. My other son who is now 20 years old is totally supportive. However, the 17 year old wanted to live with his father and is very much like him . They both ignore me and my son tells me when he sees me how much he hates me to the core. The things he says to me are so hurtful that I feel sick after I see him. I am a good mother, and no one is perfect. I was a stay at home mom from the day my boys were born and was always there for them. I was very open with them. I love them. I felt like a single mom most of the time because my husband was always working and hardly ever home . There was no communication and a lot of ignoring and no support from him when my younger son started verbally abusing me when he was 13. My husband would never stick up for me and would side with my son. This gave my son permission to continue his abuse. Now he lives with his father and I still get the verbal abuse . Long story short, my ex taught my son how to treat me and now that they are living together it continues. I am heartbroken, sad, and lost. Thank God my older son is in my life. My days are consumed with why??? Why does one son love me and the other hate me. I loved them both since the day they were born. I was there for both of them the same. Their father was never home and when he was home there was no family time. I had to beg for it and that didn’t even work. So I am finding it hard to understand how a good mother can be hated so much. I truly believe my ex taught my son to hate me because he knew he could. He needed someone “on his side” because my older son was able to see through him. My younger son was easier to manipulate. It is the most heartbreaking experience in my life. I still tell my son how much I love him every chance I get. He tells me he doesn’t care. I pray everyday that God sees and will help my son come back to me. He had a good childhood and he refuses to see it. He just remembers the last four years of a very unhappy marriage.

    • Renee Ettline says:

      Rosemarie, I can’t imagine how much this hurts. Keep praying for your son. May yours be the story of the son who returns (Luke 15:11-32). It is hard to accept that this seems to be out of your control but it sounds like it is so leave it in God’s hands. Focus your attention on those things you can control in your life. How does a mother just let go of her son? Only by knowing that there is one far greater. Give him over to our Heavenly Father.

      • Rosemarie says:

        Thank you so much. I tried leaving it to God so many times but lose faith. I will try again and again because I know God sees what a good mother I am. I must be patient. It is the hardest thing ever. Bless you,

        • Renee Ettline says:

          I’m sure it is the hardest thing ever. I know a man who lost affection of all of his children. It hurt him deeply and he suffered a long time before he finally realized that he had to emotionally let it go (golly that’s hard). But, he realized that if he didn’t, the whole rest of his life would be consumed by it. He prays for his children and still hopes they will reconcile someday but he had to emotionally and mentally stop stewing in it in order to find peace and joy in the life he still had. Letting go also allowed him to step back and stop projecting intense feelings of loss every time he had contact with his children. That in itself relieved some stress. God knows your heart. May he bless you with the peace that passes all understanding.

  9. Richard Walker says:

    My story sounds familiar but I had to comment for the intense feeling of loss and sadness. I have 2 children that are now 18 and 20. My exwife and I divorced when the kids were 5 and 7. She has always tried to keep the kids from me and talked poorly about me in front of them. She never agreed to a 50/50 time split and I even had to get a lawyer post divorce to get a little more time with the kids. This being so hard and she even had strange men spending the night with her when the kids were very young. Good for the kids?
    My son and I have a great relationship, my daughter who is the younger of the 2 not so much. Literally 3 years ago my daughter ceased all communication with me, and my entire family. She had such a great relationship with all of us up to that point. My sister has 4 kids, 2 of which my daughter was around for years. She hasn’t even bothered to contact or meet her 2 younger cousins.
    I’m not sure what my former mother in law was trying to accomplish but she took my son aside about a year ago and was trying to convince him all of this was my fault. My son and I don’t normally talk about things like this but for some reason he was compelled to share. He has suffered the brunt of his mother with her horrible temper and favoritism of his sister over him… I am very thankful he has turned out the way he has. He is a very kind and gentle soul.
    My daughter is graduating high school literally in 4 days. I reached out to her over a month ago and told her I would really like to see her and her graduation. She finally did reply to me via text and said I could come if I wanted to. I made flight reservations and everything. (I moved a year ago because my daughter would have nothing to do with me. Out of the blue one day she told me she didn’t want me coming to her soccer and basketball games. It made her feel uncomfortable). It has been 2 weeks now and she has not replied to the 3 times I have tried to contact her, once being about how I would get the tickets I need for her graduation. Her mom displays the same trait in not responding to me for any reason, but she will reach out if she wants something. Unfortunately this is how my daughter is now.
    I really don’t know what to do. I have been seeing a counselor and that helps a little. Honest to God my wife is not a nice person and she is “winning” in her mind, I think at the expense of our daughter.

    • Renee Ettline says:

      Richard, I’m glad you are seeing a counselor. You are experiencing something that is very hard indeed. It sounds like you have made positive efforts to reach out to your daughter but continue to be saddened by her neglect. I don’t know all the history you have with her and I don’t know what legal rights you have to claim time with her given her age and your divorce agreement. But, it seems at this point your challenge is to find a way to keep the door open to your daughter while also learning to live with her absence in your life. You need to grieve the pain but don’t let the pain and neglect harden your heart or keep you in a constant state of sadness. Continue to love her but find ways not to let the situation steal all of your joy. Turn your daughter over to God and wait. Meanwhile, you have a life to live. Work with your counselor to find positive ways you can direct your energies that will enrich your life. God is with you. Despite the situation with your daughter you can find joy in your relationship with Christ. God bless you and thank you for posting.

  10. Kent says:

    My wife no-fault divorced me about 22 years ago, after 18 years of marriage. Our 2 sons were 9 and 12 at the time. I was emotionally and financially paralyzed by the process and lost the house, the kids, most all of my money and was an emotional wreck for years but eventually climbed out of it. My work life was such that I had to work at jobs all around the country but would always make an effort to drive or fly to visit them as often as possible. So now they are in their 30’s, have good jobs, but still have been living with their mother basically all their lives. We live about 200 miles apart, and now retired in my 60’s, I have been driving to visit them a few times per year around birthdays and holidays. Things were not on great terms with the ex so I would no longer visit them where they live, but would meet them out at restaurants. I have been unhappy about them all living together so long, but they have been supporting her. I feel the deck was stacked against me in terms of trying to hold the relationships together but I was grateful for all the good times we were able to have. One son was happy to travel with me and we have gone on many nice trips together. Even after divorce I had invested lots of time and money to help them all have cars, more education, a place to live, etc etc. Even though I hated the divorce I have tried to be as Godly about it as I could. All these years I have not spent much time discussing the divorce with my sons, but they have never voiced any concerns about it to me. She has never had another relationship with a man as far as I know, seems like the sons would not let her bring another guy into the house.
    I last saw my sons about 4 months ago, and we had a good time. But I have always suspected that after all these years there are some underlying unspoken undercurrents, but again nothing expressed.
    All of a sudden out of the clear blue they do not want to see me anymore, it seems. After many years of texting back and forth, now they complain to her that they don’t want to hear from me. Not sure what the problems are but they won’t say, I am getting this second hand from my ex, who has the edge on me about controlling things. So I am trying absorb the shock, and lean on the Scriptures, but I am dismayed by the mystery turn of events. I do not know how long this will last, but right now I am trying to accept what I cannot change, and just hold onto faith and the Word. There are no other family members left in my life, but my younger son has a g/f that I wrote a letter to try to reach out, so let’s see what happens.
    My ex had done the same thing to me, dropped a bomb out of the blue after 18 years that she was divorcing me, with no warnings that I could see, so once again I am caught up in the shock and awe of what makes people tick.

    • Renee Ettline says:

      Kent, It must be especially disconcerting to be blindsided by this word from your ex after having been blindsided that she wanted a divorce years ago. Here are some thoughts for your consideration. Am I correct in understanding that you’ve only heard that your sons don’t want to see you from you ex? Your sons are grown so please consider direct communication with them. You might wish to tell them that you’ve heard this from their mom and would appreciate the chance to meet with them and listen to their concerns; that your relationship with them is precious to you. It’s good to accept what you cannot change, but second-hand information isn’t always reliable. Don’t assume that because you lost her you will lose your sons. Talk with God about this and ask for direction and wisdom. Peace be with you.

      • Kent says:

        Thanks for writing.

        If I had been able to communicate with him directly, I would have never started this discussion here. A few days ago, my latest text to him, simply about what was happening in Hawaii with the volcano, initiated a fury of rage from her that I should leave him alone, etc. My son (now 31) and I had toured that area by helicopter many years ago. Highly unusual and weird!!

        The guy is a vice president at a major financial company so why he would feel the need to suddenly hide behind apron strings, so to speak, is mind boggling.

        In light of these unprecedented developments, I wrote a letter to the g/f and await any reply. Meanwhile I put things in God’s hands but feel that I can at least try a bit on my own to get things cleared up.

        My ex is an unhinged control freak, bipolar, etc so I have stopped listening to her for a long time, she tends to bombard me with hate messages by the hundreds, it got to be too much to handle. In the middle of all those there might have been some clues but when she has made demands and threats I have had to shut her off. Her pattern has been to repeatedly accuse, prosecute, convict, sentence, and execute me. I never agreed with the divorce, but with no-fault I was left out in the cold. But I had always maintained close ties with my sons and helped them so much in many ways to get their lives on track. They all live in a furnished apartment that I found for them in 2010. I helped them all to relocate from Colorado to Florida. From her I feel like pins in a voodoo doll.

        I know it would be spiritually bad for them to harbor resentments and rejections towards any parent.

        So, at the moment, waiting on God or the g/f, whichever comes first (lol).

        • Renee Ettline says:

          This sounds like a very complicated situation that she would intervene even in your texts to him and that he would share your texts with her. I pray that you will find healthy was to cope with this frustrating situation. God bless you.

          • Kent says:

            Jesus suffered rejections galore from family and friends, and as He was tempted, so are we, that is just the way it goes. I know He can identify with any pain I have.

          • Renee Ettline says:


  11. Amanda says:

    Hi everyone, so saddened by some comments. I too have been alienated completely by my daughter who is just 14 yrs. Its been a year now. I became so ill i ended up in hospital with a nervous breakdown and intensive therapy and meds afterwards. Im stronger menrally depression wise now but i have an emptiness that nothing can fill….
    U see my daughter and i have been so close always and even after her dad and me seperated 9 yrs ago we co parented well. Moreso because i was overly nice for my daughters sake to make the best of a bad situation and to ensure her childhood still had good memories.
    A far cry from mine. Thats all i ever wanted for my darling girl.
    As soon as hormones hit she became distant and started to reject me once i met a new partner. I understood her feelings and after 12 weeks i ended things as i couldnt bear to lose her but the damage had been done. She said i changed. That was a yr ago. She wont see me, talk to me or anything the pain is undescribable. Im trying to live day to day. What else can i do. Xx

    • Renee Ettline says:

      Amanda, thanks for sharing your story. Im sure what you’re going through is very hard. I pray that you will be able to find peace with God no matter the circumstances with your daughter.

  12. Alesa Ione Williams says:

    Please pray for me. In a single mother of a 17.5 year old daughter who is my only child. Never married and shes traveled between my home and her dads her whole life. The father took me to court when my daughter was 4mos old, several times. So much I lost count. He’s very manipulative, narcissistic and controlling of our daughter. It constantly interferes when I discipline her and has never co-parented with me. My daughter had now become manipulative and asked to live with him and he’s way more liberal than I am. I’ve made so many sacrifices and I’ve suffered so much dealing with her father. I raised her in the church but at 16 she no longer wanted to go and things really went downhill fast. The dad seems to relish in my discord with her and it appears he encourages her to have strife with me. As of November she had stopped speaking to me or responding to my text messages telling her I’m praying for her and that I love her. When she visits on weekends, if I want to talk to her about something serious or address a bad behavior, she refuse to talk to me about the matter and then calls her dad to pick her up and he does. Then, he’ll text me accusing me of verbally abusing our daughter. This had become a pattern with her and I really need to know how to handle her
    He’s so hateful, angry that communication is impossible and for my well being i had to cut him off unless theirs an emergency. It’s just awful and I’m seeking a christian counselor for more direction. She’s my only child and i feel like I’m losing her to her dad…mdont know how to deal with this.
    PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AND MY DAUGHTER Chloe that God will intervene.

    • Renee Ettline says:

      I just prayed for you. It sounds like you’ve been going through a difficult time for years. I know this is hard on your heart. Here are two questions that might help. You don’t have to answer these questions here, just in your own mind, better yet, write down your answers. 1. What about this situation can you NOT control? 2. What about this situation CAN you control? These are two simple but tough questions. Answer honestly. The next step is to focus your attention on the things you can control. Give the other things over to God. It will take practice on your part but God will help you. I hope you’re able to find a Christian counselor in your community. God bless you! – Renee

  13. Jeeta says:

    I have done everything wrong. Pleaded with my ex, begged, asked my kids to get him back for me all to no avail. My son cannot deal with my pain (age 37) and has started rejecting me. I feel so guilty. I am an emotional person. Please pray for me that he will forgive me one day. I have been such a bad mother. Thank you for listening to me.

    • Renee Ettline says:

      Jeeta, I do pray that your son will forgive you. Please know that God definitely will forgive you if you ask. God knows your emotions and is close to the brokenhearted. Seek God first. Let him heal your pain. If you need support, get a copy of the book, Peace after Divorce. I think it will help you a great deal. God bless you. – Renee

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *