Nothing has ever made me feel as hostile and confused as divorce. Dealing with my own resentment toward my spouse was hard. Wondering where I went wrong was confusing. And deep in my heart I felt a space between me and God because I had fallen short of his expectations for my marriage.
The burden of all of this can weigh heavy when you’re a divorcing or divorced person. In fact divorce guilt and divorce anger each deserve several blog posts. Each of these emotions and the thoughts that go with them can keep you from healing from divorce.
So What Do You Do?
I know that what I’m about to say seems counterintuitive when you’ve been hurt or feel guilty so bear with me. The hidden secret to healing from divorce is rooted in the Godly concept of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is often misunderstood so let me clear up a few things.
- Forgiveness does not mean that what the other person did is okay.
- Forgiveness is not approval of inappropriate behavior.
- Forgiveness does not require reconciliation.
- Forgiving takes repeated effort.
- Forgiveness is about improving your life.
- Forgiveness is not about the person who wronged you.
Forgiveness is about you and your relationship with yourself and with God.
That’s right. You don’t have to go face-to-face with the person you forgive. You have to go face-to-face with God and he loves you. Letting go of anger and guilt and handing them over directly to God relieves you of a tremendous burden and clears the air between you and God. God forgives you when you ask and he will help you to forgive.
Because we are human, chances are that you’ll find forgiveness is not a one-time event. Forgiveness is instead a journey—a decision you must prayerfully make every time un-forgiveness seeps into your heart or head.
Become Determined to Improve Your Life
God is the author of forgiveness and sent his son Jesus to prove it. His gift of forgiveness is free for the asking. Through his power you can stop harboring unforgiving thoughts and anger and move on with your life. Feeding hostilities brings you down and draws you away from God as it ties you to a broken past. Choosing forgiveness empowered by God is far more rewarding and healing! So which way do you want to live your life?
Christian Divorce Recovery Thought:
If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
If you need practical and Christian guidance in healing from divorce,
You need Renee’s Award-Winning book, Peace After Divorce.