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Tagged: healing from divorce

Divorced People are Subpar Christians

Divorced People are Subpar Christians

4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 3 of 4 in the Series

For David it was subtle. People at his church didn’t come right out and say it, but he could feel the difference and see it in their eyes. They were more aloof. Because of his divorce he felt treated differently. He already felt like a failure so this undercurrent in his relationship with people at church was a reaffirmation that he was now stigmatized. He was perceived as a lower level Christian.

For Sarah it was much more direct. The words stabbed at her heart. […]

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This Person Should be able to Fix This Marriage

This Person Should be able to Fix This Marriage

4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 1 of 4 in the Series

When it comes to building and nourishing a marriage the message is clear, both partners have a responsibility. As Christian leaders we challenge each person to do all he or she can to honor the marriage covenant, build the relationship, and create a loving Christ-centered home. We challenge each person to give 100 percent to making the marriage work. But, are there times when a single 100% won’t carry a marriage? Sadly, there are.

Since we come from the understanding that each person in the […]

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Divorce Doesn’t Make You a Failure!

Divorce Doesn’t Make You a Failure!

For me one of the worse things about separation and divorce was feeling like I failed. Marriage means so much to me.  Yet, I felt like I failed my marriage, failed my vows, failed myself, failed my family, and failed God.  I felt lower than I had ever felt in my life.  Do you find yourself feeling that way?

For Christians marriage is more than a legal arrangement, it is a covenant. Feelings of failure when a marriage ends can be overwhelming.

But here’s the kicker…If you allow yourself to go through life seeing yourself as […]

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Putting the Light Back in Your Heart when a Marriage Ends

Putting the Light Back in Your Heart when a Marriage Ends

I have come into the world as a light,
so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.
John 12:46 NIV

“I had just given birth to our first child,” says Roseanne. “I was still in the
hospital when in walked my husband saying he wanted a divorce.”

In an instant the darkness of divorce fell on Roseanne. Sometimes the end of a marriage comes like that. For others the darkness of divorce seeps in slowly as a marriage crumbles and fades.

Yes, having your marriage fail hurts, but you don’t have to stay in the […]

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A Dozen Ways to Have a Great Valentine’s Day Despite Divorce

A Dozen Ways to Have a Great Valentine’s Day Despite Divorce

Just because you’re dealing with divorce doesn’t mean Valentine’s Day has to be gloomy. Nope, it doesn’t.

Yes, celebrations of love can remind you of your loss and it is important to process that loss. Yet, there are things you can do to make your Valentine’s Day happy.

No, I’m not crazy.

Here are 12 tips for celebrating Valentine’s Day as a divorced or divorcing person…

Give yourself some loving. Yes, you. Pamper yourself.
Make a list of your blessings. It may sound corny but making a list of your blessings reminds you that you are in fact blessed in so many ways. Thank God […]

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How to Talk with God about Divorce

How to Talk with God about Divorce

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep praying for the Lord’s people.

Ephesians 6:18 NIV

Prayer is that is amazingly powerful in so many ways.  Talk with God simply, sincerely, and respectfully. You don’t need fancy words. Realize that nobody, including you, can be good enough to merit God’s love, but he gives it to you anyway.

Clear the air by asking God for forgiveness and by forgiving those who have offended you. Thank God for his goodness and for loving you. […]

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I’m Miserable and it’s His Fault

I’m Miserable and it’s His Fault

If you could only see where I used to live and where I live now that he kicked me out of his house. My budget is so tight and paying the bills is a challenge. I’m miserable and it is his fault.”

Carol’s eyes flood with tears and her voice weakens to a whimper. Carol sees no way out and she is angry. Her ex is a louse.

She had been a faithful wife. Her situation is undesirable and she has a right to be angry.  Yet in the face of her reality, Carol is blinded.

It’s understandable that Carol blames her ex. […]

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Divorce: Dealing with Crying Again

Divorce: Dealing with Crying Again

Someone just wrote me that she had been doing very well and felt like she was really healing from divorce. Then she ran across her marriage license. It set her back.

God only knows how many times it happened to me. I’d think I was fine. Suddenly a certain song would come on the radio, or something else would trigger an emotion related to my divorce. Clear out of the blue…ZAP!

There I was tearing up again. A gut-wrenching stir of turmoil was rising inside—an emotional flare-up for sure. Over time, as I continued to work through my divorce, emotional flare-ups […]

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A Dozen Ways to Have a Great Valentine’s Day Despite Divorce

A Dozen Ways to Have a Great Valentine’s Day Despite Divorce

Just because you’re dealing with divorce doesn’t mean Valentine’s Day has to be gloomy. Nope, it doesn’t.

Yes, celebrations of love can remind you of your loss and it is important to process that loss. Yet, there are things you can do to make your Valentine’s Day happy.

No, I’m not crazy.

Here are 12 tips for celebrating Valentine’s Day as a divorced or divorcing person…

Give yourself some loving. Yes, you. Pamper yourself.
Make a list of your blessings. It may sound corny but making a list of your blessings reminds you that you are in fact blessed in so many ways. Thank God […]

Read more

6 Steps for Conquering Guilt and Regrets

6 Steps for Conquering Guilt and Regrets

To help you get past regrets and guilt associated with your divorce, here’s a FREE excerpt  from Renee Smith Ettline’s book, Peace after Divorce.

Pick me up and throw me into the sea,” he replied, “and it will become calm. I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.”

Jonah 1:12 NIV

Jonah knew without a doubt that he was guilty of running from God and of failing to do what God told him to do. His guilt was causing consequences, not only for himself, but for others as well. When he owned up to […]

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