4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 1 of 4 in the Series
When it comes to building and nourishing a marriage the message is clear, both partners have a responsibility. As Christian leaders we challenge each person to do all he or she can to honor the marriage covenant, build the relationship, and create a loving Christ-centered home. We challenge each person to give 100 percent to making the marriage work. But, are there times when a single 100% won’t carry a marriage? Sadly, there are.
Since we come from the understanding that each person in the […]
For me one of the worse things about separation and divorce was feeling like I failed. Marriage means so much to me. Yet, I felt like I failed my marriage, failed my vows, failed myself, failed my family, and failed God. I felt lower than I had ever felt in my life. Do you find yourself feeling that way?
For Christians marriage is more than a legal arrangement, it is a covenant. Feelings of failure when a marriage ends can be overwhelming.
But here’s the kicker…If you allow yourself to go through life seeing yourself as […]
Forget all those New Year’s resolutions that you’ll never keep. Save all your focus for the big one. You’re worth it you know.
This resolution has huge pay-offs. It’s the heart of a better year so make it your priority. “What?” you say. Here it is…
Resolve to keep divorce from killing your spirit this year.
There it is, big as day—a resolution worth keeping. A life-giving resolution. A resolution for your life today and every day. A resolution that takes intention but that reaps a pot of emotional gold.
Protect Your Spirit
Become committed to the vitality of your spirit. Have confidence in […]
Divorce can be lonely. You may feel like no one really understands what you are going through. Worse yet, you may feel like nobody really cares. Even God may seem far away.
It’s tough and the pain is so personal.
The mere words of others can seem trite and shallow even when they are intended to comfort. You need the support of those who really get it. You need reinforcements to help you feel like you are not so alone and to help you see that the pain you feel can be healed. You need reassurance that while the scars may linger, […]
How to best deal with your ex or soon-to-be ex during separation and divorce depends a lot on you, your ex, and the circumstances of your divorce. Relationships can vary from cooperative to extremely antagonistic. Communications may be business-like, hostile, badgering or even nonexistent.
Whatever the nature of your relationship with your spouse, here are three tips that can help.
1. Mind Your Motives. A lot of feelings are flying around during divorce. Resentment, anger, and revenge can take hold of your behavior unless you find a way to work through those emotions. (I’ll be posting more on dealing with […]
I’m 43 years old and I’ve spent my entire life wanting other people to tell me I’m okay,” says Claire. First, it was my father. To this day, I still look to him to give me some sort of positive feedback. I don’t think he ever will. Next, it was my husband, but he never helped me to feel like I was worthwhile either. Now to top it off, he wants a divorce.”
Feelings of rejection are understandably strong when your mate walks out the door. If you lived with someone who is neglectful, distant, or abusive, you may have experience […]
Divorce dashes dreams and changes circumstances. It can be easy to feel like you’ll never get out of the rut of divorce. Dreaming may seem scary.
I say, dare to dream.
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
No life is without problems and your life may not be going as you had hoped. Yet, Jeremiah tells us we have a future and a hope. God has plans for us that are good. Romans confirms this…
And we know […]
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17 NIV
When you’re going through divorce you feel you don’t fit in anywhere,” says Jean Henderson. “You are neither single nor a part of a couple.”
If you’re going through or have been through a divorce, you know what Jean is talking about.
I call this Limbo Land–the awkward time and state of being between separation and divorce.
In Limbo Land, the reality of […]
Do you find yourself spending a lot of money on your kids? More than before separation or divorce?
I’m not talking about spending money on life’s essentials or the occasional treat.
I’m talking about trying to ease the impact of divorce by buying stuff and even spending lavishly.
If so, see if you can find yourself below…
Are You Trying to Buy Your Kids’ Love?
When you split it’s logical to be concerned about keeping a positive connection with your children. This is especially true if you’re not the custodial parent. You want your kids […]
When the waters of uncertainty rise in your life due to divorce, you don’t have to drown. No matter how bad things get or how confusing, you can keep your head above water. You may even learn to get out of the boat and “walk on water” despite your current circumstances.
6 Life Preserving Steps
Learn – Learn all you can about dealing with and healing from divorce. Learn all you can about God. Find resources and people to help you learn.
Ponder – Reflect on what you learn and the patterns you see in your life. What do YOU see you need […]