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Tagged: dealing with your ex

Is Your Ex or Soon-to-be-Ex Treating You Poorly?

Is Your Ex or Soon-to-be-Ex Treating You Poorly?

Do not be fooled. You cannot fool God. A man will get back whatever he plants! If a man does things to please his sinful old self, his soul will be lost.  If a man does things to please the Holy Spirit, he will have life that lasts forever.

Galatians 6:7-8 (NLV)

If you’re being mistreated by your ex or soon-to-be ex you may read this scripture and think, well at least he (or she) will get what he deserves in the end. But, this really isn’t a scripture about revenge.

Consider this…

Galatians […]

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Is Your Soon-to-Be Ex or Ex-Spouse a Pain?

Is Your Soon-to-Be Ex or Ex-Spouse a Pain?

Dealing with your ex or soon-to-be ex can be a headache. Generally, you can’t “fix” that person to your liking. If you could do that, you’d probably still be married.

What you can do is gain some peace of mind by changing how you think about your ex. Your thoughts can color your emotions as well as determine your actions. Fortunately, you can choose thoughts that help you deal with your ex and that support healing from divorce.

Here are ten thoughts you can choose to get more peace of mind.

My former spouse’s choices don’t need to make sense to me.
An emotional […]

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I’m Miserable and it’s His Fault

I’m Miserable and it’s His Fault

If you could only see where I used to live and where I live now that he kicked me out of his house. My budget is so tight and paying the bills is a challenge. I’m miserable and it is his fault.”

Carol’s eyes flood with tears and her voice weakens to a whimper. Carol sees no way out and she is angry. Her ex is a louse.

She had been a faithful wife. Her situation is undesirable and she has a right to be angry.  Yet in the face of her reality, Carol is blinded.

It’s understandable that Carol blames her ex. […]

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Divorce: Your Ex’s New Girlfriend and Your Children

Divorce: Your Ex’s New Girlfriend and Your Children

My ex is already dating and he wants to introduce our children to this new woman.  I don’t want her to have anything to do with my children,” says Katie.

Katie’s ex-husband Tom is moving on with his new life and that new life includes a new woman. Katie finds being replaced so easily to be infuriating. She also has a myriad of fears about Tom’s new girlfriend becoming a part of the lives of her children.

Anger and fear shake Katie to the core. She isn’t prepared for this part of the reality of divorce. How dare he want to […]

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How Can Your Soon-to-Be Ex Just Erase You?

How Can Your Soon-to-Be Ex Just Erase You?

You hurt…

It’s hard to let go of all the memories. Flashbacks of your life together keep the memories fresh in your mind. You find yourself longing for your marriage to be what you envisioned it to be when you took your vows.

But then there’s your soon-to-be-ex (STBX)…

How can the person who vowed to love you for eternity act like you don’t have a past together? How can he just act like you don’t matter to him? How can he be so okay with all of this when you are hurting so much inside?

The difference between what you […]

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How to Get on the Right Track with Your Ex

How to Get on the Right Track with Your Ex

 Being able to look your ex in the eye and feel nothing but neutral is well… WOW!

I knew I had arrived at getting over my divorce when I could look at my ex and feel totally neutral.  No longing. No passion. No hatred. No anger.  Just neutral.

Yes, it is possible.

It is hard for most of us because we don’t get married to get divorced.  But if divorce is your reality, you’ll have much more joy in your life if you heal from the emotions of divorce.  We eventually need to let go of the past if we are to have […]

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Feeling Replaced (A Reader’s Story)

Feeling Replaced (A Reader’s Story)

The first time I saw my former husband with his new wife was in the lingerie department at a department store. (I had gained weight and needed new bras.) The situation was extremely uncomfortable.

Fortunately for me, my daughters were also present. They politely carried the conversation to a quick conclusion while I floundered for words trying to hide the articles of clothing I held in my hands. His relationship with Wife Number Two did not last long — from beginning to end was less than two years.

Now, he has moved to another state and is currently living with a new […]

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Don’t Let Your Ex Push Your Buttons

Don’t Let Your Ex Push Your Buttons

I’ve arrived. I feel absolutely neutral about my ex-husband.
Gone is romantic love. Gone is anger and resentment. I’m free.
Divorce can’t push my buttons anymore.

Really…I feel totally neutral about my former spouse. For me, this is the ultimate goal of healing from divorce. I’ve reached my destination and it’s a platinum achievement.

I believe you can reach it too. It’s what I call a State of Neutral.

You Gotta Be Kidding!

No, it really is possible. Getting over the emotions of divorce may seem insurmountable but it can be done. It takes time and intent but […]

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Divorce: Prince Charming vs. Darth Vader

Divorce: Prince Charming vs. Darth Vader

My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul. Proverbs 3:21:22 NLT

Divorce ended my fairy-tale marriage,” said Susan. “How can I live without him?”

My wife turned into Darth Vader,” said Rusty. “An evil one breathing down my neck. I hate her.”

So, was Susan’s marriage really to a perfect prince or was she looking at her husband through Cinderella eyes? Had Rusty’s wife really gone the way of pure evil or were the difficult dynamics of divorce coloring his view?

By focusing her thoughts on her losses, Susan […]

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