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Tagged: coping with divorce

Accepting Divorce Shows a Lack of Faith

Accepting Divorce Shows a Lack of Faith

4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 4 of 4 in the Series

We know God can do immeasurably more than we hope or imagine. We know it because we’ve lived it. So, when a person is facing divorce, our natural faith-driven instinct is to highlight this truth of the Christian faith. Because we know the power of God, we can be quick to assume that the person who is accepting divorce as their reality simply hasn’t given God time to work, or believed hard enough in God’s faithfulness.

You don’t have enough faith, we think or say.

And […]

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Divorced People are Subpar Christians

Divorced People are Subpar Christians

4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 3 of 4 in the Series

For David it was subtle. People at his church didn’t come right out and say it, but he could feel the difference and see it in their eyes. They were more aloof. Because of his divorce he felt treated differently. He already felt like a failure so this undercurrent in his relationship with people at church was a reaffirmation that he was now stigmatized. He was perceived as a lower level Christian.

For Sarah it was much more direct. The words stabbed at her heart. […]

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Pray Enough and God Will Save Your Marriage

Pray Enough and God Will Save Your Marriage

4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 2 of 4 in the Series

When a person is facing divorce, it is so easy to tell them to turn to prayer. And we should. There’s no better time for ceaseless prayer than during times of trouble.

But, the simple directive that, “You just need to pray more and God will save your marriage,” falls short. Plus, what if you pray, and pray, and pray and God doesn’t save your marriage? What then?
It happens.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a huge believer in the power of prayer. Prayer builds […]

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This Person Should be able to Fix This Marriage

This Person Should be able to Fix This Marriage

4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 1 of 4 in the Series

When it comes to building and nourishing a marriage the message is clear, both partners have a responsibility. As Christian leaders we challenge each person to do all he or she can to honor the marriage covenant, build the relationship, and create a loving Christ-centered home. We challenge each person to give 100 percent to making the marriage work. But, are there times when a single 100% won’t carry a marriage? Sadly, there are.

Since we come from the understanding that each person in the […]

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How to Talk with God about Divorce

How to Talk with God about Divorce

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.  With this in mind, be alert and always keep praying for the Lord’s people.

Ephesians 6:18 NIV

Prayer is that is amazingly powerful in so many ways.  Talk with God simply, sincerely, and respectfully. You don’t need fancy words. Realize that nobody, including you, can be good enough to merit God’s love, but he gives it to you anyway.

Clear the air by asking God for forgiveness and by forgiving those who have offended you. Thank God for his goodness and for loving you. […]

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I’m Miserable and it’s His Fault

I’m Miserable and it’s His Fault

If you could only see where I used to live and where I live now that he kicked me out of his house. My budget is so tight and paying the bills is a challenge. I’m miserable and it is his fault.”

Carol’s eyes flood with tears and her voice weakens to a whimper. Carol sees no way out and she is angry. Her ex is a louse.

She had been a faithful wife. Her situation is undesirable and she has a right to be angry.  Yet in the face of her reality, Carol is blinded.

It’s understandable that Carol blames her ex. […]

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Divorce: Dealing with Crying Again

Divorce: Dealing with Crying Again

Someone just wrote me that she had been doing very well and felt like she was really healing from divorce. Then she ran across her marriage license. It set her back.

God only knows how many times it happened to me. I’d think I was fine. Suddenly a certain song would come on the radio, or something else would trigger an emotion related to my divorce. Clear out of the blue…ZAP!

There I was tearing up again. A gut-wrenching stir of turmoil was rising inside—an emotional flare-up for sure. Over time, as I continued to work through my divorce, emotional flare-ups […]

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How Not to Drown in Divorce

How Not to Drown in Divorce

When the waters of uncertainty rise in your life due to divorce, you don’t have to drown. No matter how bad things get or how confusing, you can keep your head above water. You may even learn to get out of the boat and “walk on water” despite your current circumstances.

6 Life Preserving Steps

Learn – Learn all you can about dealing with and healing from divorce. Learn all you can about God. Find resources and people to help you learn.
Ponder – Reflect on what you learn and the patterns you see in your life. What do YOU see you need […]

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Divorce Can Hurt Your Health –What You Can Do About It

Divorce Can Hurt Your Health –What You Can Do About It

Can you diminish divorce’s negative impact on your health? I believe so.

Working through your emotions is certainly part of coping with divorce as well as healing from divorce. Yet, your thoughts and beliefs play an important role too. Your thoughts and beliefs can bring you down and stall healing from divorce, or they can have an awesome healing power that affects not only your psyche and spirit but also your general health.

The world is a looking-glass, and gives back to every man the reflection of his own thought.

William Makepeace Thackeray, English Novelist

As Thackeray points out, how we experience […]

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Delight Me Lord

Delight Me Lord

                   …Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
John 16:22 NIV

Does life leave you feeling like you need a pick-me-up? Something delightful? Something that puts a smile on your face despite the circumstances you are dealing with in life right now?

I’ve tried retail therapy and chocolate. Ice cream soothes me too. But knowing I’ll be being broke and overweight doesn’t really delight my soul.

Last week one of our Peace after Divorce Workshop (Christian divorce support group) facilitators shared […]

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