If you’re starting to heal from divorce, New Year’s resolutions may be a good way to set goals and move your life forward. But, if you’re still struggling with the raw emotions of divorce you may need New Day resolutions instead.
One Day at a Time
The pain of divorce can stifle your vision for the future for a while. The future may seem scary at best. Long range planning may give way to simply trying to get through today. If you’re finding it hard to see beyond today, that’s okay.
With divorce there is a season for taking life one day at […]
My first husband left just before Christmas. I could hardly feel “Peace on earth, good will toward men.” As Christmas approached, the season seemed devoid of meaning. I hurt so much that it seemed the life had been sucked out of me.
4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 4 of 4 in the Series
We know God can do immeasurably more than we hope or imagine. We know it because we’ve lived it. So, when a person is facing divorce, our natural faith-driven instinct is to highlight this truth of the Christian faith. Because we know the power of God, we can be quick to assume that the person who is accepting divorce as their reality simply hasn’t given God time to work, or believed hard enough in God’s faithfulness.
You don’t have enough faith, we think or say.
For David it was subtle. People at his church didn’t come right out and say it, but he could feel the difference and see it in their eyes. They were more aloof. Because of his divorce he felt treated differently. He already felt like a failure so this undercurrent in his relationship with people at church was a reaffirmation that he was now stigmatized. He was perceived as a lower level Christian.
For Sarah it was much more direct. The words stabbed at her heart. She could no longer serve in certain areas of the church because she was divorced. She […]
4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 2 of 4 in the Series
When a person is facing divorce, it is so easy to tell them to turn to prayer. And we should. There’s no better time for ceaseless prayer than during times of trouble.
But, the simple directive that, “You just need to pray more and God will save your marriage,” falls short. Plus, what if you pray, and pray, and pray and God doesn’t save your marriage? What then?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a huge believer in the power of prayer. Prayer builds […]
4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 1 of 4 in the Series
When it comes to building and nourishing a marriage the message is clear, both partners have a responsibility. As Christian leaders we challenge each person to do all he or she can to honor the marriage covenant, build the relationship, and create a loving Christ-centered home. We challenge each person to give 100 percent to making the marriage work. But, are there times when a single 100% won’t carry a marriage? Sadly, there are.
Since we come from the understanding that each person in the […]
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep praying for the Lord’s people.
Ephesians 6:18 NIV
Prayer is that is amazingly powerful in so many ways. Talk with God simply, sincerely, and respectfully. You don’t need fancy words. Realize that nobody, including you, can be good enough to merit God’s love, but he gives it to you anyway.
Clear the air by asking God for forgiveness and by forgiving those who have offended you. Thank God for his goodness and for loving you. […]
If you could only see where I used to live and where I live now that he kicked me out of his house. My budget is so tight and paying the bills is a challenge. I’m miserable and it is his fault.”
Carol’s eyes flood with tears and her voice weakens to a whimper. Carol sees no way out and she is angry. Her ex is a louse.
She had been a faithful wife. Her situation is undesirable and she has a right to be angry. Yet in the face of her reality, Carol is blinded.
It’s understandable that Carol blames her ex. […]
Someone just wrote me that she had been doing very well and felt like she was really healing from divorce. Then she ran across her marriage license. It set her back.
God only knows how many times it happened to me. I’d think I was fine. Suddenly a certain song would come on the radio, or something else would trigger an emotion related to my divorce. Clear out of the blue…ZAP!
There I was tearing up again. A gut-wrenching stir of turmoil was rising inside—an emotional flare-up for sure. Over time, as I continued to work through my divorce, emotional flare-ups […]
When the waters of uncertainty rise in your life due to divorce, you don’t have to drown. No matter how bad things get or how confusing, you can keep your head above water. You may even learn to get out of the boat and “walk on water” despite your current circumstances.
6 Life Preserving Steps
Learn – Learn all you can about dealing with and healing from divorce. Learn all you can about God. Find resources and people to help you learn.
Ponder – Reflect on what you learn and the patterns you see in your life. What do YOU see you need […]