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Tagged: Christians and divorce

Accepting Divorce Shows a Lack of Faith

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Accepting Divorce Shows a Lack of Faith

4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 4 of 4 in the Series

We know God can do immeasurably more than we hope or imagine. We know it because we’ve lived it. So, when a person is facing divorce, our natural faith-driven instinct is to highlight this truth of the Christian faith. Because we know the power of God, we can be quick to assume that the person who is accepting divorce as their reality simply hasn’t given God time to work, or believed hard enough in God’s faithfulness.

You don’t have enough faith, we think or say.

And […]

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Divorced People are Subpar Christians

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Divorced People are Subpar Christians

4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 3 of 4 in the Series

For David it was subtle. People at his church didn’t come right out and say it, but he could feel the difference and see it in their eyes. They were more aloof. Because of his divorce he felt treated differently. He already felt like a failure so this undercurrent in his relationship with people at church was a reaffirmation that he was now stigmatized. He was perceived as a lower level Christian.

For Sarah it was much more direct. The words stabbed at her heart. […]

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Battling the Fears of Divorce

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Battling the Fears of Divorce

Fear is perhaps the most prevailing emotion associated with divorce.   Fear of change,  fear of the future, fear of being alone, fears for your children, and the list goes on.  Fear rattles your cage and makes you desperate for a sense of security.

Divorce gives us plenty of reasons to fear.  Fear is a brutal master.

Battling Fear

So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves.  Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children.  Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father.’ For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s […]

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Christians and Divorce

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Christians and Divorce

You know God means for marriage to last forever.  You know your marriage has fallen short of God’s perfect plan. Yet, here you are looking your own divorce square in the face. It’s a gut wrenching experience. Worse yet, you may be getting grief from fellow Christians who don’t understand what you’re going through at all.

Here are three things I want to be sure you know:

God still loves you!
Your identity is in Christ not your marital status.
God still offers you salvation and hope.

Building your relationship with God is fundamental to taking charge of your life again. Choosing to seek God […]

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Divorce: Dealing with Crying Again

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Divorce: Dealing with Crying Again

Someone just wrote me that she had been doing very well and felt like she was really healing from divorce. Then she ran across her marriage license. It set her back.

God only knows how many times it happened to me. I’d think I was fine. Suddenly a certain song would come on the radio, or something else would trigger an emotion related to my divorce. Clear out of the blue…ZAP!

There I was tearing up again. A gut-wrenching stir of turmoil was rising inside—an emotional flare-up for sure. Over time, as I continued to work through my divorce, emotional flare-ups […]

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Divorce and the Scriptures

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Divorce and the Scriptures

Will God hate me if I get a divorce?  My wife is abusive.
My husband left me and hasn’t filed for divorce. I’m left hanging. Will God be mad at me if I’m the one who files for the divorce?
Does God require me to stay with my husband even though he has a girlfriend he sleeps with?
I’m divorced.  Does that keep God from loving me as much?

I hear such questions from Christians who have been faithful to their marriages.  They are crushed by the behavior of their spouses.  They’ve done everything they know to save their marriages. They are worried about […]

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Can Christians Marry after Divorce?

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Can Christians Marry after Divorce?

Mark 10 says that a divorced man who remarries again commits adultery…but what if that husband was left by his wife?”

(Question about Christians and divorce from a reader in the Philippines.)

You’ve asked a most excellent question.  Scholars have debated issues related to divorce throughout the ages, back to the time of Jesus and before. Even now, different Christian churches teach different things about whether a person can marry again after divorce.

Back in the Day…

When Jesus was asked by the Pharisees about divorce, it was a test. (Mark 10:2 and Matthew 19:3) At the time a […]

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Divorce: 5 Reasons Your Life isn’t Over

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Divorce: 5 Reasons Your Life isn’t Over

I remember feeling like my life was over. I struggled to absorb the impact of the word divorce as its reality crashed in and rippled throughout my whole life. If you’ve been there you know what I mean.

My life wasn’t over…no, far from it.

Neither is yours.

Your pain is real. Your frustrations understandable. Your circumstances probably less than desirable.

But your life IS NOT over. You have a future!

Here’s Why…

You’re more than your marriage. Being married becomes a part of your identity but it isn’t who you are. God has instilled in you a unique package of wonderful traits. I am certain […]

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When a Marriage Becomes Dangerous

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
When a Marriage Becomes Dangerous

Is your spouse:

Acting in ways that threaten or scare you
Trying to control who you spend time with
Demeaning you
Pushing you, shoving you, grabbing your face, or pulling your hair
Assaulting you with their hand or a weapon
Damaging your belongings
Limiting your access to money
Threatening you or your children
Criticizing you frequently
Forcing you to have sex against your will
Disrespecting you in front of others
Telling  you that you deserve abuse

Are You a Victim of Domestic Violence?

When President Obama named October as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, 2014, his proclamation stated that…

“Nearly two out of three Americans 15 years of age or older know a […]

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Delight Me Lord

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Delight Me Lord

                   …Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.
John 16:22 NIV

Does life leave you feeling like you need a pick-me-up? Something delightful? Something that puts a smile on your face despite the circumstances you are dealing with in life right now?

I’ve tried retail therapy and chocolate. Ice cream soothes me too. But knowing I’ll be being broke and overweight doesn’t really delight my soul.

Last week one of our Peace after Divorce Workshop (Christian divorce support group) facilitators shared […]

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