4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 4 of 4 in the Series
We know God can do immeasurably more than we hope or imagine. We know it because we’ve lived it. So, when a person is facing divorce, our natural faith-driven instinct is to highlight this truth of the Christian faith. Because we know the power of God, we can be quick to assume that the person who is accepting divorce as their reality simply hasn’t given God time to work, or believed hard enough in God’s faithfulness.
You don’t have enough faith, we think or say.
I have come into the world as a light,
so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.
John 12:46 NIV
“I had just given birth to our first child,” says Roseanne. “I was still in the
hospital when in walked my husband saying he wanted a divorce.”
In an instant the darkness of divorce fell on Roseanne. Sometimes the end of a marriage comes like that. For others the darkness of divorce seeps in slowly as a marriage crumbles and fades.
Yes, having your marriage fail hurts, but you don’t have to stay in the […]
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
Romans 8:28 (NLT)
My arm and shoulder and even back were starting to ache from rolling my luggage to and through the Charlotte, NC Airport. When I stacked my carry-on luggage on top of my small roller bag suitcase it seemed like a good idea. It never occurred to me how much harder it would be to pull. Now the weight of the carry-on atop the extension arm of the suitcase was becoming […]
[Note: Starting July 22, 2014 this blog posts every Friday morning.]
‘In your anger do not sin.’
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
and do not give the devil a foothold.
I’ve never been so angry in my life as during my divorce. In fact, it shocked me that I could become that angry. Intense anger wasn’t a part of my natural make up.
Processing that anger was important. I needed to get to the root of all that anger which required coming face-to-face with it and working through it. That took some time […]
He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. Psalm 40:2
Divorce brought so many changes into my life that I felt like I was drowning. Everything I thought I knew to be true seemed challenged. Trust was broken. Finances uncertain. Relationships changed. Dreams were shattered. Stability evaporated. My world was rocked.
As much as I felt like life was over…it wasn’t. Really. I began to realize that I did not want to be tossed about in the […]
Nothing has ever made me feel as hostile and confused as divorce. Dealing with my own resentment toward my spouse was hard. Wondering where I went wrong was confusing. And deep in my heart I felt a space between me and God because I had fallen short of his expectations for my marriage.
The burden of all of this can weigh heavy when you’re a divorcing or divorced person. In fact divorce guilt and divorce anger each deserve several blog posts. Each of these emotions and the thoughts that go with them can keep you from healing from divorce.
So What […]
Did you ever read the book The Scarlet Letter? In the book, the lead character had to wear a big scarlet “A” because she was an adulterer. Labeled for life. Even her tombstone was marked with a scarlet “A.”
Adultery does not have to be involved for people who are going through divorce to feel like there’s a big “D” on their chest screaming “DIVORCED”. As a Christian who has experienced divorce, I know this can be particularly true for people of faith who are aware that God intends for marriage to last a lifetime.
I never wanted to be divorced. Even […]
Vampires, ghosts, and goblins. Halloween is full of spooky images intent on putting a shiver in your timbers. But the shiver-me-timbers fears of Hollywood and trick-or-treat all pale in comparison to the multitude of heart-felt fears that can come with separation and divorce.
Changes and uncertainties rock your world. The future is unknown. Finances change. Concerns over living life alone or over single parenting are intensified by the sense of loss and self-doubt that come with divorce.
Divorce-related fear is real, understandable, and natural. Divorce is scary but you don’t have to let the monster of fear take over. You can […]
Dark skies and gray days leave us longing for the warmth and light of the sun. Too much time without the sun can leave us feeling down if not depressed. Likewise, the spin-off of divorce can color our days dark and gray leaving us feeling like we are in a constant shadow, hidden from the sun.
We cannot control all of the effects of divorce any more than we can control the weather. Things often just do not go our way. But how often do we choose to live in darkness when we could be walking in the light? How do […]
I’m totally humbled by the story that Sandra shared about her experiences. I remember feeling paralyzed too. Here is what she says…
I definitely benefited from the Peace After Divorce Workshop and Divorce Support Group. Before attending the workshop I felt paralyzed – like I could not move forward – like I was in quicksand. After reading the first chapter of the book, Peace After Divorce, I had to face the reality of my situation. I was in the middle of a divorce.
This was very hard for me to swallow – especially since I did not want a divorce. Your book […]