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Is Your Soon-to-Be Ex or Ex-Spouse a Pain?

Dealing with your ex or soon-to-be ex can be a headache. Generally, you can’t “fix” that person to your liking. If you could do that, you’d probably still be married.

What you can do is gain some peace of mind by changing how you think about your ex. Your thoughts can color your emotions as well as determine your actions. Fortunately, you can choose thoughts that help you deal with your ex and that support healing from divorce.

Here are ten thoughts you can choose to get more peace of mind.

    1. My former spouse’s choices don’t need to make sense to me.
    2. An emotional break with my former spouse will help me to move on with my life.
    3. I cannot assume responsibility for my former spouse’s behavior.
    4. I will not increase my frustration by trying to control someone I cannot control.
    5. Focusing on my former mate’s annoying ways increases my irritation in a way that interferes with God’s spirit of peace.
    6. I can forgive my former spouse without approving of the behavior I am forgiving.
    7. I will let go of blame and un-forgiveness for my own sake.
    8. My children’s sense of loss may be intensified if I dwell on their other parent’s shortcomings.
    9. I will choose my responses to my ex rather than reacting based on his/her behavior.
    10. I will do my best to have a civil relationship with my former spouse for as long as a relationship is required.

Control your thinking. It won’t change your former spouse’s behavior but it will help you.

Christian Inspiration:

“For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”  Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV)

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2 Comments on Is Your Soon-to-Be Ex or Ex-Spouse a Pain?

  1. Becky says:

    I really enjoyed these points. I can actually say I have accomplished alot of these points. I tried to be nice and encourage him to move on, unfortunately he did not see it that way. It is so exhilarating to be free of the bond that held us too together. Don’t get me wrong I did not want to go through divorce but it was the choice I made because I had to make decisions or I was going to really have trouble. It has been comforting going to God and reading his scripture for strength and endurance and to hold steadfast even when I fail at decisions in my new life. Thank you Renee for sharing your thoughts and insight. Prayers and blessings!

    • Renee Ettline says:

      Becky, thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I’m so glad the points had value for you. Please share this post with anyone else you know who may benefit. God bless!

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