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Divorce: Finding an Anchor in the Storm

 Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac. Nobody knows what’s gonna happen next: not on a freeway, not in an airplane, not inside our own bodies and certainly not on a racetrack with 40 other infantile egomaniacs.”

“…now you’ve gotten a glimpse of that and you’re scared.”

Dr. Claire Lewicki (Nicole Kidman) to Cole Trickle (Tom Cruise) in the movie, Days of Thunder

I remember sitting in the theater and cringing as tears welled in my eyes. “Control is an illusion.” I remember the look in Tom Cruise’s face as these words were thrown his way. And like Tom Cruise, I was scared.

Control is an illusion.

Divorce had made that abundantly clear to me. Hearing it spoken jarred me. I had lived through the out-of-control experience of divorce and still carried its ghosts. What I didn’t clearly get yet was how to psychologically and spiritually come to peace with the concept that control is an illusion.

Plan for the future. Make your life happen. Take charge of your life. These philosophies ruled my head. Then came divorce and plans imploded. I seemed to have little control over each moment let alone my future.

No one expects to go to a movie about a race car driver and have an epiphany. I did…

I realized that to completely heal from divorce, indeed to be at peace with life. I had to come to terms with the balance between taking charge of my life and trusting God to see me through the inevitable crises when my sense of personal control collapses.

So is control an illusion?

Well yes and no.

Floundering on our own in circumstances we did not choose reminds us that we cannot control others nor can we control all of the events in our lives. God has given free-will to others just as he has given free-will to us. Being mad at God for the behavior of others is a dead-end street.

So isn’t control a complete illusion? Sometimes it seems to be. But even in the midst of chaos, we can choose our own behavior. Better yet, we can prayerfully choose our own behavior. And we can trust God to help us handle our outcomes.

Why prayerfully? Because any decision made with God’s guidance is better than one made on your own.

God is in control and I can know he will see me through even the toughest of times. Even when circumstances are out of my control. Actually, this is a big relief. I can trust God and don’t have to carry my burdens alone. I can know he will guide my choices if I just ask.

Not only that but when the winds of life batter me about I need not fear. I have an anchor in Jesus.

So how about you? You can have this anchor too!

Talk with God

Tell God your trials. Ask him to be your anchor. Listen for his guidance.

Christian Inspiration

We have this hope (God’s promises) as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure….” Hebrews 6:19

Resources to Help You

  • A FREE Gift for You…Complete the green circle at the top right of this page and we will send you a link to download Renee’s popular free eBook, 5 keys to Healing from Divorce. You’ll also receive Renee’s free monthly eZine with updates and links to valuable resources.
  • Peace after Divorce.  Recognized as an exemplary Christian self-help book by the Illumination Book Awards this excellent guide book will support your journey through and beyond divorce. It’s easy to read, deals with practical issues and helps you understand underlying problems that may be holding you back from healing. Even more, it shares inspirational scriptures to uplift and inspire you. Learn more.
  • Find FREE articles relevant to you. 
  • Need prayer support?  Submit your prayer requests to our volunteer prayer team.  Click here.
  • Need group support or want to offer a Peace after Divorce groupClick Here to learn more.

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