“What do you think is the scariest thing about separation and divorce?”
“Feeling that you failed at something that meant so much to you,” replied Cathy.
I know how Cathy feels. I’ve been there too. For Christians marriage is more than a legal arrangement, it is a covenant. Feelings of failure when a marriage ends can be overwhelming.
But here’s the kicker…If you allow yourself to go through life seeing yourself as a failure due to divorce, you cut short your own potential and limit the joy God wants you to have in Him.
You got married to stay married forever and now your marriage is over. How do you move past feeling like a failure? How can you re-group your sense of self when your “happily-ever-after” does not turn out that way?
Here are some things to consider:
- Recognize the difference between having a failed experience and being a failure. Just because you tried something and failed does not mean you as a person are a failure.
- Understand that divorce is an experience not an identity. Your marriage ended but who YOU ARE is a loved child of the Father God.
Read those two again.
- God already knows you are not perfect. That’s why Jesus died to save you. He’s got you covered.
- God will forgive you for any ways in which you fell short in your marriage if you sincerely ask.
Say prayers of thanksgiving.
- Turn your sense of failure into a learning experience. Ask God to help you identify what you can learn from your marriage and divorce that will help you to move forward to a better life.
Talk with God about this now. Start a written list of what you have learned.
Isn’t it amazing that God is so full of grace. Give your sense of failure to Him. He lifts burdens. He is full of new beginnings. What’s more, He loves you. Let Him teach you what He would have you learn from your marriage and divorce. And rest assured, God values you very much. You do not have to be defined by your divorce.
Christian Thought for Today:
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV
If you found this article to be helpful, you will love Renee’s book, Peace after Divorce.