Divorce: The Strange Twist of Anger

[Note: Starting July 22, 2014 this blog posts every Friday morning.]

‘In your anger do not sin.’
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27

I’ve never been so angry in my life as during my divorce. In fact, it shocked me that I could become that angry. Intense anger wasn’t a part of my natural make up.

Processing that anger was important. I needed to get to the root of all that anger which required coming face-to-face with it and working through it. That took some time and I had to be intentional about it. I couldn’t just pretend I wasn’t angry.

What I didn’t want to do was to live my life in anger.

In a strange twist we can choose to live in anger as a sort of vindication. Living in anger appears to provide a balance to the injustice done to us.

The thinking can go something like this…

  • I’ve been treated wrongly so I have a right to be angry.
  • If I stay angry the world will know I’ve been done wrong.
  • I have a right to stay angry because I’ve earned it.

Well, you can live in anger forever if you want to do so, but if you do, you will never heal from divorce.

Vent your anger appropriately. Work through that anger. Don’t let anger keep you from healing from divorce.

Consider These Three Truths…

  1. Your anger may be justified but it hurts you more than anyone else.
  2. Blaming others, even when they are guilty, diverts your attention from taking responsibility for your own healing.
  3. Living in anger holds you back from finding peace and a positive future and hinders your ability to hear from God.

Talk with God…

Lord, it is so easy to be angry when dealing with divorce. You know full well what I’m going through. Thank you for caring. Please help me to process my anger in healthy ways. Strengthen me as I work to live a life of peace without divorce-related anger. Thank you God for being with me and for your undying love.

Do You Want to Live in Anger and Hurt or Heal from Divorce?

The choice is yours.

PAD sm photo crYou can live in anger and hurt or you can work through these feelings, let go of them, and heal.  For uplifting inspiration and practical guidance for healing from divorce, order Renee’s award-winning book, Peace After Divorce today.

 

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