Vampires, ghosts, and goblins. Halloween is full of spooky images intent on putting a shiver in your timbers. But the shiver-me-timbers fears of Hollywood and trick-or-treat all pale in comparison to the multitude of heart-felt fears that can come with separation and divorce.
Changes and uncertainties rock your world. The future is unknown. Finances change. Concerns over living life alone or over single parenting are intensified by the sense of loss and self-doubt that come with divorce.
Divorce-related fear is real, understandable, and natural. Divorce is scary but you don’t have to let the monster of fear take over. You can look fear in the face and tackle it head-on.
- Refuse to be paralyzed by fear. Conquering fear means acting in faith even though you’re afraid. When fear overrides faith, suffering increases. When faith overrides fear, hope prevails.
- Get real about the things that scare you. Understanding the risks and opportunities of a scary situation empowers you to avoid dangers and create positive outcomes.”
- Choose faith. Faith allows you to look at what you scares you through eyes that believe that God is guarding over you. Faith says the monster you are facing is powerless against the might of your Holy Father.
- Replace anxiety by talking with God. Thank him for your blessings. Pour out your heart about your anxieties. Trust him for your solutions. Listen constantly for direction. When worry, fear, and anxiety meet prayer, they subside.
- Look for the possibilities. Accept what you cannot control and prayerfully develop positive action plans for minimizing fears where you can. Fear sees the danger in the unknown. Faith in God sees the possibilities in the unknown.
Gain a healthy perspective on your fears by using the brain God gave you to realistically assess your risks and options. Talk with God, thank him for your blessings. Tell God your fears and ask for direction, protection, and peace.
Even when confidence in yourself is weak you can press on through fear armed with God-based courage. Your monsters may be big, but your God is bigger and mightier! You do not have to live in fear.
Christian Thought for Today
So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10 NIV
Renee Smith Ettline, M.Ed. is founder of After Divorce Ministries, LLC, author of Peace after Divorce, and creator of the Peace after Divorce Workshop. Her Peace after Divorce Workshop group study is widely offered in churches and reaches across denominational lines. She builds on her background as an educational counselor, her Christian faith, and her own divorce experience to light a path for those who need support for healing from divorce.
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