When you’re hurting and lonely there can be a great hunger to fill the void left by your ex. The person you hoped would be there for you isn’t anymore. Yes, it’s lonely and it hurts.
It also creates a danger zone full of pitfalls.
Two Major Pitfalls to Avoid
- Investing a great deal of energy in wanting someone back who has no intention of returning to you.
- Believing that finding someone new to love will make everything better.
The first pitfall leaves you stuck when everything about your ex’s behavior says that person has moved on without you and isn’t looking back.
The second leaves you vulnerable because you are looking for another human to help make you whole.
So What about the Hole in Your Heart?
I get it. The pain is real. The void in your heart is a real challenge.
But, here’s the truth. You have to fill that internal void before you can let go of the old relationship and be successful in a new relationship. If you skip this step you set yourself up for more pain.
Only God can truly make you whole. Working through the issues of divorce with God’s help will fill that void. Then you will feel whole without having a mate.
Once you reach that point, you will be able to let go of the past. Having someone new in your life will be a joy rather than a need. It’s a much better foundation for a new relationship.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
Psalm 119:105 (NASB)
If you need help avoiding the pitfalls of divorce and getting past the pain and loneliness we believe you’ll love Renee’s book, Peace after Divorce. Click the link to see reader reviews.
Are you sufficiently healed to want to help others? Talk with your church about offering a Peace after Divorce group. No expertise in divorce recovery is needed. Click to learn more.
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