How do you tell the children you are divorcing? How will they react? How do you help them adjust?
Children are always on the receiving end of divorce. Rarely is it what they would choose. Ideally, parents will work together for the good of their children even in divorce. But, if you’re dealing with an ex that declines a cooperative approach, you can still make choices that ease the transition for your children.
To guide you in this process I’ve put together a handy checklist of things for you to consider. I hope it helps you with this difficult task.
Tips for […]
Having your marriage fail is hard in so many ways it can be overwhelming. You have a lot to deal with emotionally, spiritually, and logistically. And, if you have children my guess is that you are also worried about how they will be, or have been, affected.
No wonder. You know that kids are always the victims of divorce. Divorce happens whether they like it or not. It changes their lives.
Yet, there are many things you can do to help your children cope with divorce.
I want to share a post with you from a blog called Thoughts in Progress. There Mason […]
My ex is already dating and he wants to introduce our children to this new woman. I don’t want her to have anything to do with my children,” says Katie.
Katie’s ex-husband Tom is moving on with his new life and that new life includes a new woman. Katie finds being replaced so easily to be infuriating. She also has a myriad of fears about Tom’s new girlfriend becoming a part of the lives of her children.
Anger and fear shake Katie to the core. She isn’t prepared for this part of the reality of divorce. How dare he want to […]
Anna spoke quietly in the Peace after Divorce group at her church…
My son doesn’t speak to me since we separated. He lives in my house but doesn’t want anything to do with me. He wants to go live with his dad. He says he hates me.
Layered on top of the pain and grief of divorce, Anna is now facing the rejection of her son. Not a simple issue. Being rejected by a child can leave a parent feeling desperate and totally out of control.
Recognizing the Problem
Like an adult, a child faces many adjustments as the result of separation and […]
Separation and divorce are hard enough on you and your family. It is especially tough if your child resists coming to see you when it is time for you to have custody. A child may resist going to visit a parent for a variety of reasons and it is good to get to the root of the problem if you can.
Here are a few things you can do to make a visit with you more inviting to your children.
Stay calm. Getting angry with your child because he doesn’t want to visit you is counterproductive. Be patient and get to the […]
“I hope you sleep real good,
have real sweet dreams,
feel good in the morning,
and I love you!”
My Dad was a wonderful daddy in many ways. From the time I can remember, the last thing he said to me at bedtime were the words above. It was his little goodnight ditty, always followed by a hug.
As we grew up, Dad made the ritual interactive. Either he or I would start the ditty at bedtime and then we would alternate saying lines. He made it personal, saying it with me and saying it again with my sister.
I always loved that […]
When mom and dad split kids experience loss and may very well feel a good deal of anxiety.
When will I see my other parent again? Am I still loved? Are you going to leave me too?
Some separation anxiety is normal. Parents can often help a child work through normal separation anxiety related to mom and dad living apart. If mild anxiety starts to progress and the child becomes increasingly distressed it is wise to promptly consult your pediatrician.
Here are a dozen tips for dealing with normal separation anxiety…
1. Understand that anxiety is rooted in fear. Acknowledge that your child’s behavior […]
Do you find yourself spending a lot of money on your kids? More than before separation or divorce?
I’m not talking about spending money on life’s essentials or the occasional treat.
I’m talking about trying to ease the impact of divorce by buying stuff and even spending lavishly.
If so, see if you can find yourself below…
Are You Trying to Buy Your Kids’ Love?
When you split it’s logical to be concerned about keeping a positive connection with your children. This is especially true if you’re not the custodial parent. You want your kids […]
You’re in love. You’ve dated a while and know you’re meant to be together. What’s more, it feels so good to know you and your children will finally have a complete family unit.
But wait! In reality, you have a family unit – a single parent home in which you have a rhythm and flow. That is soon to change.
Are you Ready?
No offense but likely not. Creating a healthy stepfamily requires a lot more than just getting married and moving in together. Creating a healthy stepfamily requires intention, understanding, patience, determination, commitment, and prayer.
Where to Start
For now, let’s explore one common […]
Are you concerned about how your divorce will impact your kids? It’s a legitimate concern. How will they handle it? Will divorce leave scars?
Insights to Help You Help Your Children
Research shared by a group of students at John Brown University comes in handy today. They interviewed a divorced couple as well as their three children (now adults) regarding their reflections on the personal impact of a divorce that occurred 12 years ago.
To help you benefit the most, I’ve inserted key points into the story in brackets. So, let’s see what we can glean from one family’s story.