When you’re hurting and lonely there can be a great hunger to fill the void left by your ex. The person you hoped would be there for you isn’t anymore. Yes, it’s lonely and it hurts.
It also creates a danger zone full of pitfalls.
Two Major Pitfalls to Avoid
Investing a great deal of energy in wanting someone back who has no intention of returning to you.
Believing that finding someone new to love will make everything better.
The first pitfall leaves you stuck when everything about your ex’s behavior says that person has moved on without you and isn’t looking back.
The second leaves […]
I was recently interviewed for an article on why women cheat. I shared several thoughts with the author regarding what I’ve observed as a counselor. Her theory is that a woman’s reason for cheating is often different from a man’s reason. I think that is often the case.
Below are three reasons that rose to the top of my list.
Why Women Cheat
Many of the women I’ve worked with who have affairs simply don’t feel cherished in their marriages. They are lonely or bored or both because they have lost an emotional if not physical connection with […]
When the one you’ve loved and relied on is permanently gone due to divorce it leaves a void that can burn a hole in your heart. Do you know what I’m talking about? Finding someone to feel that emptiness can become a focus in your life.
And then you meet him. He seems perfect. Best of all, he seems to like you too.
He’s everything you wanted. Or is he? Maybe, maybe not.
When you need someone to make you feel whole it is way too easy to see what you want to see and to put blinders on to what you […]
When your marriage has ended you can find yourself with many unknowns including the future of romance in your life. Perhaps you are happy with your freedom and will choose to remain single. Yet, a burning question for many people is…
Will I be alone the rest of my life or will I marry again?”
Given our human desire to be loved this is a natural question.
You may be pondering thoughts such as these…
How can I find a good marriage partner?
Who will fill the void in my life?
How can I find someone who makes me happy?
How do I avoid getting involved with […]
Many factors go into deciding if, and when, you should marry again. Obviously, finding the right person is paramount. Yet there are other considerations as well. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
Remember–Only God Can Complete You
Those looking to a mate to, “make me whole” will always be disappointed because their mate cannot be God. Seek to know God and receive his love before seeking a mate. Only a right relationship with God can complete you. Grow in him and he will reveal his will for your life and it will be good. Marriage can be a delightful […]
You’re in love. You’ve dated a while and know you’re meant to be together. What’s more, it feels so good to know you and your children will finally have a complete family unit.
But wait! In reality, you have a family unit – a single parent home in which you have a rhythm and flow. That is soon to change.
Are you Ready?
No offense but likely not. Creating a healthy stepfamily requires a lot more than just getting married and moving in together. Creating a healthy stepfamily requires intention, understanding, patience, determination, commitment, and prayer.
Where to Start
For now, let’s explore one common […]
Last week we talked about whether Christians can marry after divorce. I hope you gained some insight from that article. But are you really ready to jump into a new romantic relationship?
Whether you’re already dating or contemplating dating, it’s scary isn’t it?
Well, because you are my blog reader I want to give you some free insights directly from my book, Peace after Divorce.
The questions below are written with the assumption you are already dating someone but they are worth pondering whether you’re already dating or just thinking about […]
What a man desires is unfailing love…
Proverbs 19:22 NIV
I think unfailing love is when someone…
Accepts you as you are and encourages you to grow to be your best self
Never gives up on you
Loves you unconditionally
Is always there for you forever and ever
Believes in you and celebrates life with you
Offers you grace and forgiveness when you fall short of their expectations.
After divorce, the love described above may seem like a mirage. Yet as humans we hunger for unfailing love. It is a part of our design.
Unfortunately, divorce leaves us vulnerable to meeting that need in unhealthy ways. The […]
Chemistry wasn’t my strong suit. I do remember the little slips of litmus paper that were used as a test to determine the pH balance of a liquid. Those magic little strips turn red when a solution is acidic and blue when the solution is alkaline. If the paper is purple, the solution is neutral. Just like that, you know what you’re dealing with.
What I have for you today is a GREAT litmus test that I believe you would do well to use before you start to date after divorce, or now if you’re already dating. It is not the […]
The title of the old song, Gimme Some Lovin’ seems to fit the feeling that often comes during separation and divorce. Emptiness, loneliness, and a haunting question about whether or not we are still loveable can give us the strong urge to find love. I call it the “Empty Love Pot.”
If we can find someone to love us then we can fill the loneliness. We can reassure ourselves that we are indeed still loveable. We can be happy.
It’s a natural way to feel wouldn’t you agree? We want to heal the loss by finding a replacement. […]