If you’re starting to heal from divorce, New Year’s resolutions may be a good way to set goals and move your life forward. But, if you’re still struggling with the raw emotions of divorce you may need New Day resolutions instead.
One Day at a Time
The pain of divorce can stifle your vision for the future for a while. The future may seem scary at best. Long range planning may give way to simply trying to get through today. If you’re finding it hard to see beyond today, that’s okay.
With divorce there is a season for taking life one day at […]
Just before Christmas several years ago I was given the word that my first marriage was about to end. “Joy to the World” wasn’t exactly my first holiday sentiment. I was devastated.
Frankly, I did not want to be around happy people. My grief was too profound. Yet in the end, it turned out to be a blessing. The gathering of family and friends proved to be my soft place to land at a time I desperately needed comfort.
Holidays, especially those associated with traditions, have a crazy way of magnifying our losses. Blues can set in because of expectations, lost traditions, […]
It’s hard to be thankful when your world is collapsing due to divorce. How can you feel gratitude when your heart is broken and the future is anything but certain? Why bother?
Because being thankful helps you even when you don’t feel very thankful.
Gratitude changes the brain. An article on positivepsychology.com says,
When we express gratitude and receive the same, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin, the two crucial neurotransmitters responsible for our emotions, and they make us feel ‘good’. They enhance our mood immediately, making us feel happy from the inside.
By consciously practicing gratitude everyday, we can help these […]
All night long on my bed, I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him.
Song of Songs 3: 1-2 (NIV)
These words from Song of Songs (Song of Solomon) are about love not divorce. Yet, I think they say so much. Love makes the heart do both wonderful as well as crazy things.
When we lose […]
No matter what brought your marriage to an end, it hurts to have lost love. Not only that, but learning to face every day single is often lonely. It’s normal to feel like you would like someone new to fill the void and help you feel whole again.
Yet, searching for romance out of loneliness leaves you more vulnerable to accepting a relationship with the wrong person. Plus, if you take old wounds into a new relationship it increases the likelihood that you’ll be hurt again. Nobody wants that.
Wanting to love and be loved is normal. Yet, you can put yourself […]
Join me in this podcast where I’m guest of attorney and divorce coach Jason Levoy. Jason asks some tough questions. You won’t want to miss this conversation about healing from divorce.
God bless you in your journey to finding peace after divorce.
Renee Smith Ettline
Founder of After Divorce Ministries, LLC
Creator of the Peace after Divorce Workshop
I remember the sinking feeling that came with divorce. It was all so emotionally complicated. I was a pretty self-confident person and then suddenly I wasn’t.
How could I be worth anything if my spouse didn’t value me?
This is one of the landmines of divorce. If the one who promised to love you forever now abandons you, lies to you, is unfaithful, abuses you physically or emotionally, or neglects you, it’s easy to decide you must be worthless.
It’s a natural reaction, but it isn’t true. You’re worth more than that. Lots […]
Over the years I’ve often heard people hoping that karma catches up with their ex spouse. I get that because hurt, especially the deep hurt of infidelity and divorce, is a rotten feeling. And, when you’ve been so betrayed and broken by another person, it’s only natural to want to see that person get their due.
You want someone to make them pay for all the hurt they caused you. You certainly don’t want to see the person who hurt you now living a happy life. That just feels so very wrong.
The problem is that the desire […]
My first husband left just before Christmas. I could hardly feel “Peace on earth, good will toward men.” As Christmas approached, the season seemed devoid of meaning. I hurt so much that it seemed the life had been sucked out of me.
Fear is perhaps the most prevailing emotion associated with divorce. Fear of change, fear of the future, fear of being alone, fears for your children, and the list goes on. Fear rattles your cage and makes you desperate for a sense of security.
Divorce gives us plenty of reasons to fear. Fear is a brutal master.
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father.’ For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s […]