Fear is perhaps the most prevailing emotion associated with divorce. Fear of change, fear of the future, fear of being alone, fears for your children, and the list goes on. Fear rattles your cage and makes you desperate for a sense of security.
Divorce gives us plenty of reasons to fear. Fear is a brutal master.
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father.’ For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s […]
Yikes! A few years ago I broke my foot. Suddenly my plans for the next several weeks were brought to a halt. Okay, you’re hearing about my broken bone situation because it pales in comparison to all the ways divorce can bring abrupt and prolonged changes to a person’s life.
Divorce slams the brakes on the dreams you had when you got married. Divorce shifts your now and your future in a new direction. You may find yourself overwhelmed with change.
Life may feel crazy for a while which is normal when your life faces a huge change of course. […]
What a great question. The ability to trust is so often a casualty of divorce, at least for a while. I mean, after you’ve been betrayed in one way or another, it’s normal to become afraid to take chances with your heart. The deeper the betrayal, the harder it is to learn to trust. And, that fear of being hurt again can make you not trust anyone.
Start with Yourself
I think the first challenge is beginning to trust yourself again. You may start to wonder if you can make good judgement calls about who to trust. After all, you trusted someone […]
For me one of the worse things about separation and divorce was feeling like I failed. Marriage means so much to me. Yet, I felt like I failed my marriage, failed my vows, failed myself, failed my family, and failed God. I felt lower than I had ever felt in my life. Do you find yourself feeling that way?
For Christians marriage is more than a legal arrangement, it is a covenant. Feelings of failure when a marriage ends can be overwhelming.
But here’s the kicker…If you allow yourself to go through life seeing yourself as […]
Yesterday we had a bad storm and lost power. As the sun settled in the sky and the room darkened I realized just how very dependent on electricity I am. The pizza I had just prepared was quickly placed in the oven in the hopes that the oven would stay hot enough to cook it. I had work to do but my laptop battery was fading quickly. There was no Internet anyway. I shut down my phone so its battery would still have some life if I really needed it. Without power, I was left in the dark trying to […]
Divorce can be lonely. You may feel like no one really understands what you are going through. Worse yet, you may feel like nobody really cares. Even God may seem far away.
It’s tough and the pain is so personal.
The mere words of others can seem trite and shallow even when they are intended to comfort. You need the support of those who really get it. You need reinforcements to help you feel like you are not so alone and to help you see that the pain you feel can be healed. You need reassurance that while the scars may linger, […]
Your chest literally hurts from the heartbreak. Your doctor can find no physical problem. But, inside you know it is likely the stress and strain of what has happened to your marriage.
He’s gone.* He’s found someone else and has made it clear he isn’t coming back. As much as you want to hate him, you still love him. You wonder why.
Finding out someone cheated on you doesn’t just wipe away your love instantly when you’ve loved deeply.
It’s normal for you to hurt under these circumstances. When you’ve worked and prayed to save your marriage and it still fails it is […]
The person who asked this question could be really asking many things.
When will I stop hurting?
When will I get closure?
When will I fall in love again?
When will I feel joy again?
When will someone enter my life and make everything okay?
But, the answer to the question “When will my new life begin?” is now.
You may not be where you want to be now but this is where your new life has its roots. You have the option to either stay stuck where you are, or to tap into your ability to make prayerful choices that will move you on […]
Just because you’re dealing with divorce doesn’t mean Valentine’s Day has to be gloomy. Nope, it doesn’t.
Yes, celebrations of love can remind you of your loss and it is important to process that loss. Yet, there are things you can do to make your Valentine’s Day happy.
No, I’m not crazy.
Here are 12 tips for celebrating Valentine’s Day as a divorced or divorcing person…
Give yourself some loving. Yes, you. Pamper yourself.
Make a list of your blessings. It may sound corny but making a list of your blessings reminds you that you are in fact blessed in so many ways. Thank God […]
For many people dealing with divorce is like dealing with death. Having your marriage die creates a sense of loss whether or not you are the one who ends up filing for divorce. And, when you experience such a huge loss, you grieve.
Its natural. But, what do you do with that grief?
You do well to face it. When you shove grief down it doesn’t get resolved. When you process through the grief you allow yourself to experience the emotions and resolve them.
Resolving emotions includes understanding the thoughts behind those emotions and making choices to move beyond those thoughts. That sounds […]