When people say, “I just want to stay friends with my ex,” I assume they are well-intended. But is it a good idea? I’m not so sure.
Three Reasons People Want to Stay Friends with Their Ex
They think it is best for the children.
They still love their ex.
They still view their ex as their best friend.
Do you see yourself in that list?
Let’s take a look at each of these reasons to see what makes staying friends a questionable idea.
We Need to Stay Friends for the Children
Actually, you do best to stay cordial to one another. Being […]
This post is applicable for men and women. Men please substitute “she” for “he.”
My spouse said he wanted a divorce and moved out. It’s been almost two years. I’ve prayed and pleaded but he won’t come back.
He’s still living with the woman he left me for. This breaks my heart. To me marriage is sacred.
I have finally come to the realization that our marriage is over whether or not I like it. I need to move on with my life. But why is he is leaving it to me to file the papers when he is the one […]
Being able to look your ex in the eye and feel nothing but neutral is well… WOW!
I knew I had arrived at getting over my divorce when I could look at my ex and feel totally neutral. No longing. No passion. No hatred. No anger. Just neutral.
Yes, it is possible.
It is hard for most of us because we don’t get married to get divorced. But if divorce is your reality, you’ll have much more joy in your life if you heal from the emotions of divorce. We eventually need to let go of the past if we are to have […]
How long are you going to allow that man to live rent free in your head?”
I love that question. Don’t you?
One of our workshop participants says it is what her mother asks her when she obsesses about her ex-husband. (Also applies to an ex-wife.)
Are Your Thoughts Casting Shadows in Your Life?
Isn’t it true that it is so easy to let your thoughts about your ex get the best of you? Dealing with your ex can be difficult even in your own head. This mental battle is reported by many people who come to our Peace after Divorce groups. […]
Snooping around trying to find out what your ex is doing?
Surfing your ex’s Facebook page?
Getting friends to let you take a peek because you’ve been unfriended?
Have you become…a cyber-spy?
According to an article by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on the World of Psychology* website…
Up to half of Facebook users use it to spy on ex-partners.”
Gathering information on your soon-to-be ex may be critical to your legal divorce
But beyond that…is cyber spying good for you?
I think not.
Painful emotions are continually fed when you watch your ex’s life. Photos of your […]
I’m in so much pain but he seems not to care that our marriage is over. It’s like I don’t even know him. How can he be so callused?”
“Out of the blue she just left. I’m hurting so much but she seems perfectly fine. I hate her for being so okay when I still love her.”
Like so many others I hear from these two people have been left by their spouses. Maybe they knew the marriage wasn’t perfect but having the divorce-wish bomb dropped by their mates came as a total surprise. No wonder they are confused and in pain.
Is your spouse:
Acting in ways that threaten or scare you
Trying to control who you spend time with
Pushing you, shoving you, grabbing your face, or pulling your hair
Assaulting you with their hand or a weapon
Damaging your belongings
Limiting your access to money
Threatening you or your children
Criticizing you frequently
Forcing you to have sex against your will
Disrespecting you in front of others
Telling you that you deserve abuse
Are You a Victim of Domestic Violence?
When President Obama named October as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, 2014, his proclamation stated that…
“Nearly two out of three Americans 15 years of age or older know a […]
I’ve arrived. I feel absolutely neutral about my ex-husband.
Gone is romantic love. Gone is anger and resentment. I’m free.
Divorce can’t push my buttons anymore.
Really…I feel totally neutral about my former spouse. For me, this is the ultimate goal of healing from divorce. I’ve reached my destination and it’s a platinum achievement.
I believe you can reach it too. It’s what I call a State of Neutral.
You Gotta Be Kidding!
No, it really is possible. Getting over the emotions of divorce may seem insurmountable but it can be done. It takes time and intent but […]
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7 NIV
I’ve pleaded with him to stop his relationship with the other woman,” said Patty. “He just won’t.”
“She’s left,” said Tom. “I’ve prayed that she would come back. I’ve asked God to make her. She said she needs to find herself. That was a year ago. Now she doesn’t even respond to my texts or calls.”
“I just cannot continue to take the abuse,” said Caroline. “He neglects us and spends […]
How do I help my kids have a good Christmas when the family is split? asked a worried parent.
You can keep the merry in Merry Christmas for the kids even if you and their other parent are at odds. You cannot control the behavior of their other parent but here are some suggestions for working with your children’s other parent as the Christmas holidays approach.
MAKE CHRISTMAS ABOUT THE KIDS rather than about your divorce-related issues or squabbles. The question is, “how can I work with their other parent to make Christmas as smooth and happy as possible for our children?” […]