Do not be fooled. You cannot fool God. A man will get back whatever he plants! If a man does things to please his sinful old self, his soul will be lost. If a man does things to please the Holy Spirit, he will have life that lasts forever.
Galatians 6:7-8 (NLV)
If you’re being mistreated by your ex or soon-to-be ex you may read this scripture and think, well at least he (or she) will get what he deserves in the end. But, this really isn’t a scripture about revenge.
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Founder, After Divorce Ministries, LLC
Author, Peace after Divorce book and group curriculum for churches and other books
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It’s so infuriating! Every time I try to talk with my husband we end up yelling at each other,” said Teresa.
Does this happen to you? Is talking with your ex a bomb waiting to go off?
Emotions run high with divorce which can make it really hard to keep civil conversation going with your ex or soon to be ex. Your anger or other emotions, or your former spouse’s emotions, can end up diverting the conversation and leading to an encounter that is more destructive than helpful.
Taking charge of communications with your former spouse is easier if you are clear […]
Dealing with your ex or soon-to-be ex can be a headache. Generally, you can’t “fix” that person to your liking. If you could do that, you’d probably still be married.
What you can do is gain some peace of mind by changing how you think about your ex. Your thoughts can color your emotions as well as determine your actions. Fortunately, you can choose thoughts that help you deal with your ex and that support healing from divorce.
Here are ten thoughts you can choose to get more peace of mind.
My former spouse’s choices don’t need to make sense to me.
An emotional […]
How to best deal with your ex or soon-to-be ex during separation and divorce depends a lot on you, your ex, and the circumstances of your divorce. Relationships can vary from cooperative to extremely antagonistic. Communications may be business-like, hostile, badgering or even nonexistent.
Whatever the nature of your relationship with your spouse, here are three tips that can help.
1. Mind Your Motives. A lot of feelings are flying around during divorce. Resentment, anger, and revenge can take hold of your behavior unless you find a way to work through those emotions. (I’ll be posting more on dealing with […]
If you could only see where I used to live and where I live now that he kicked me out of his house. My budget is so tight and paying the bills is a challenge. I’m miserable and it is his fault.”
Carol’s eyes flood with tears and her voice weakens to a whimper. Carol sees no way out and she is angry. Her ex is a louse.
She had been a faithful wife. Her situation is undesirable and she has a right to be angry. Yet in the face of her reality, Carol is blinded.
It’s understandable that Carol blames her ex. […]
Dealing with someone who has no empathy for you unless it is to their own advantage isn’t a piece of cake. And, when that person has an inflated sense of themselves, and demands to be treated with unquestioned respect and preference, you may be dealing with someone with narcissistic personality disorder. Your challenges are likely to escalate when you are divorcing or trying to co-parent after divorce.
Here are some of the traits of a person with narcissistic personality disorder:
A lack of empathy for others (unless there is an ulterior motive.)
A need to be admired and a great sensitivity […]
What do you do when your spouse is unfaithful? Should you stay or should you divorce? It’s a complicated issue for many.
You know from the Scriptures that infidelity is a just cause for divorce. You also know that divorce is not a must in cases of infidelity. So, how do you decide what to do?
Do you continue to live together as married and act like it didn’t happen? Do you separate and seek counseling while you assess the situation? Do you walk away and file for divorce?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. You have to assess the particulars of your situation […]
This year were there no birthday wishes from your ex? Not even a Mother’s Day (or Father’s Day) card? No acknowledgement that you were ever special to each other?
You know in your head that the marriage is over. Yet, your heart wants some sign that he or she still cares at least a little. Isn’t a simple card or text the least (s)he could do?
In the devastation of separation and divorce, it is common to want to know that your ex or soon-to-be-ex spouse still values you at least enough to acknowledge you on special occasions. The […]
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.
I do not give to you as the world gives.
Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14:27 NIV
“If she’d just tell me why she left,” says Todd.
For several years, Todd had stewed over this question. His desperate need to make sense out of his wife’s decision to leave their marriage had kept him from completing his emotional divorce. Worse yet, focusing his energies on this nagging question kept him from experiencing the peace offered to him by God.
The question Todd asks is […]