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Topic: Choose Healing Thoughts & Actions

Getting through Your First Anniversary after Divorce

Getting through Your First Anniversary after Divorce

The day is fast approaching. In fact, it is looming large in your mind.

In the past when this time of year rolled around you would be buying a card and maybe a gift for your spouse. There may have been a feeling of excitement in expectation of a special dinner, event, or even a romantic getaway. But, all the positive vibes have given way to divorce.

Now there is a hole where your heart used to be. Or, at least a sadness.

What do you do for your anniversary? Do you still buy him […]

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Putting the Light Back in Your Heart when a Marriage Ends

Putting the Light Back in Your Heart when a Marriage Ends

I have come into the world as a light,
so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.
John 12:46 NIV

“I had just given birth to our first child,” says Roseanne. “I was still in the
hospital when in walked my husband saying he wanted a divorce.”

In an instant the darkness of divorce fell on Roseanne. Sometimes the end of a marriage comes like that. For others the darkness of divorce seeps in slowly as a marriage crumbles and fades.

Yes, having your marriage fail hurts, but you don’t have to stay in the […]

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10 Ways to Survive Valentine’s Day when You’re Divorced or Separated

10 Ways to Survive Valentine’s Day when You’re Divorced or Separated

Candy hearts, greeting cards, and advertisements…it’s hard to put on blinders to Valentine’s Day. From mid-January to mid-February reminders are everywhere. Love is in the air.

When you’re separated or divorced Valentine’s Day can be hard to take. All the brouhaha about that special someone reminds you that you are alone. It can be tough.

The Challenge

So, how do you re-frame Valentine’s Day to make it a good thing when you’re hurting from lost love? How do you put a smile on your face when you wish you had someone special in your life but you don’t now? How do you survive […]

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One New Year’s Resolution to Keep

One New Year’s Resolution to Keep

Forget all those New Year’s resolutions that you’ll never keep. Save all your focus for the big one. You’re worth it you know.

This resolution has huge pay-offs. It’s the heart of a better year so make it your priority. “What?” you say. Here it is…

Resolve to keep divorce from killing your spirit this year.

There it is, big as day—a resolution worth keeping. A life-giving resolution. A resolution for your life today and every day. A resolution that takes intention but that reaps a pot of emotional gold.

But how?

Protect Your Spirit

Become committed to the vitality of your spirit. Have confidence in […]

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The Holidays and Divorce

The Holidays and Divorce

Dealing with the effects of divorce during the holidays is hard.  I know, I’ve been there. In fact, living with the challenges of divorce can suck the life right out of your Christmas.

Don’t let it.

Okay, that’s easier said than done.

But here’s what I know.  Your holidays may not be exactly like you’d like this year but there are ways to make the holidays better. Granted, if you’re dealing with the breakdown of your marriage, or kids who are split between two homes, that may sound like an impossible task.

I want to give you a gift that can help.

Here it is…

Just […]

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The Power in Your Thoughts

The Power in Your Thoughts

We all do it. We talk to ourselves. Maybe not out loud but we have a continuous conversation with ourselves through our thoughts.

I’m not talking about what to have for dinner or what movie to see. I’m talking about the thoughts that color how we see the world and ourselves–our beliefs about God, our own value, and our thoughts about other people.  And particularly, our thoughts about our divorce.

We send ourselves powerful messages. Our thoughts can fill us with self-doubt and fear or lift us with confidence and faith. What we think determines whether we walk in the light […]

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Dare to Dream Again

Dare to Dream Again

Divorce dashes dreams and changes circumstances. It can be easy to feel like you’ll never get out of the rut of divorce. Dreaming may seem scary.

I say, dare to dream.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)

No life is without problems and your life may not be going as you had hoped. Yet, Jeremiah tells us we have a future and a hope. God has plans for us that are good. Romans confirms this…

And we know […]

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Awkward Limbo Land

Awkward Limbo Land

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17 NIV

When you’re going through divorce you feel you don’t fit in anywhere,” says Jean Henderson. “You are neither single nor a part of a couple.”

If you’re going through or have been through a divorce, you know what Jean is talking about.

I call this Limbo Land–the awkward time and state of being between separation and divorce.

In Limbo Land, the reality of […]

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10 Ways to Survive Valentine’s Day when You’re Divorced or Separated

10 Ways to Survive Valentine’s Day when You’re Divorced or Separated

Candy hearts, greeting cards, and advertisements…it’s hard to put on blinders to Valentine’s Day. From mid-January to mid-February reminders are everywhere. Love is in the air.

When you’re separated or divorced Valentine’s Day can be hard to take. All the brouhaha about that special someone reminds you that you are alone. It can be tough.

The Challenge

So, how do you re-frame Valentine’s Day to make it a good thing when you’re hurting from lost love? How do you put a smile on your face when you wish you had someone special in your life but you don’t now? How do you survive […]

Read more

How to Handle the Unfairness of Divorce and Still Stay Sane

It’s just so unfair. I was the faithful one. I gave my marriage all I had. My ex did not.

It seems that well over 50% of the people I’ve worked with have expressed these feelings. The specifics of their stories vary but each of them is pretty sure that they did nothing to deserve their present situation. They feel victimized by their ex.

They probably have every reason to feel like a victim.

And it’s a pretty bad feeling.

Sometimes we need to just stop and have a self-pity party. I don’t mean that in a rude way. I know first-hand that divorce […]

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