4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 4 of 4 in the Series
We know God can do immeasurably more than we hope or imagine. We know it because we’ve lived it. So, when a person is facing divorce, our natural faith-driven instinct is to highlight this truth of the Christian faith. Because we know the power of God, we can be quick to assume that the person who is accepting divorce as their reality simply hasn’t given God time to work, or believed hard enough in God’s faithfulness.
You don’t have enough faith, we think or say.
For David it was subtle. People at his church didn’t come right out and say it, but he could feel the difference and see it in their eyes. They were more aloof. Because of his divorce he felt treated differently. He already felt like a failure so this undercurrent in his relationship with people at church was a reaffirmation that he was now stigmatized. He was perceived as a lower level Christian.
For Sarah it was much more direct. The words stabbed at her heart. She could no longer serve in certain areas of the church because she was divorced. She […]
4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 2 of 4 in the Series
When a person is facing divorce, it is so easy to tell them to turn to prayer. And we should. There’s no better time for ceaseless prayer than during times of trouble.
But, the simple directive that, “You just need to pray more and God will save your marriage,” falls short. Plus, what if you pray, and pray, and pray and God doesn’t save your marriage? What then?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a huge believer in the power of prayer. Prayer builds […]
4 Myths about Divorce that Can Hurt Your Church – Part 1 of 4 in the Series
When it comes to building and nourishing a marriage the message is clear, both partners have a responsibility. As Christian leaders we challenge each person to do all he or she can to honor the marriage covenant, build the relationship, and create a loving Christ-centered home. We challenge each person to give 100 percent to making the marriage work. But, are there times when a single 100% won’t carry a marriage? Sadly, there are.
Since we come from the understanding that each person in the […]
Fear is perhaps the most prevailing emotion associated with divorce. Fear of change, fear of the future, fear of being alone, fears for your children, and the list goes on. Fear rattles your cage and makes you desperate for a sense of security.
Divorce gives us plenty of reasons to fear. Fear is a brutal master.
So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, ‘Abba, Father.’ For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s […]
Yikes! A few years ago I broke my foot. Suddenly my plans for the next several weeks were brought to a halt. Okay, you’re hearing about my broken bone situation because it pales in comparison to all the ways divorce can bring abrupt and prolonged changes to a person’s life.
Divorce slams the brakes on the dreams you had when you got married. Divorce shifts your now and your future in a new direction. You may find yourself overwhelmed with change.
Life may feel crazy for a while which is normal when your life faces a huge change of course. […]
Abuse is never okay. Abuse is never deserved.
In addition to physical danger, abuse can hurt the victim and family in many ways. While this website isn’t about domestic violence, abuse can be a factor in divorce so we want to refer you to resources that may be of help.* Click the links below to visit each web page.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
The Hotline offers online chat 24/7, 365 days of the year. Their phone number is 1-800-799-7233 and their website is http://www.thehotline.org/
When you visit their website, you will get this alert so I want to go ahead and […]
The day is fast approaching. In fact, it is looming large in your mind.
In the past when this time of year rolled around you would be buying a card and maybe a gift for your spouse. There may have been a feeling of excitement in expectation of a special dinner, event, or even a romantic getaway. But, all the positive vibes have given way to divorce.
Now there is a hole where your heart used to be. Or, at least a sadness.
What do you do for your anniversary? Do you still buy him […]
No. God doesn’t leave us. God is there. God is with you, right now.
But, I understand the feeling because there were times when my marriage was ending that I too found it hard to feel God’s presence.
But, God was there.
I think we know divorce isn’t in God’s plan and that knowledge hangs in our heads and muddles our spirits. We assume God is mad at us or we feel guilty for divorce even when it isn’t what we would choose. If you’ve made mistakes, ask God for forgiveness. Know that he is full of mercy and grace. He wants […]
How do you tell the children you are divorcing? How will they react? How do you help them adjust?
Children are always on the receiving end of divorce. Rarely is it what they would choose. Ideally, parents will work together for the good of their children even in divorce. But, if you’re dealing with an ex that declines a cooperative approach, you can still make choices that ease the transition for your children.
To guide you in this process I’ve put together a handy checklist of things for you to consider. I hope it helps you with this difficult task.
Tips for […]