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How Do I Learn to Trust Anyone Again after Divorce or Betrayal?

How Do I Learn to Trust Anyone Again after Divorce or Betrayal?

What a great question. The ability to trust is so often a casualty of divorce, at least for a while. I mean, after you’ve been betrayed in one way or another, it’s normal to become afraid to take chances with your heart. The deeper the betrayal, the harder it is to learn to trust. And, that fear of being hurt again can make you not trust anyone.

Start with Yourself

I think the first challenge is beginning to trust yourself again. You may start to wonder if you can make good judgement calls about who to trust. After all, you trusted someone […]

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Separation and Divorce: Surviving the Loneliness of Your Nights

Separation and Divorce: Surviving the Loneliness of Your Nights

Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him….” Lamentations 2:19

The nights can be the worse. Loneliness settles in as darkness falls. The losses and uncertainties of divorce become magnified as our bodies tire and our minds grow weary from the day.

It’s only human.

It’s the perfect time to pour out our hearts to God. When our hearts are brimming with grief and fear we can unload those daunting emotions on our Heavenly Father. We can lift our hands […]

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Divorce Doesn’t Make You a Failure!

Divorce Doesn’t Make You a Failure!

For me one of the worse things about separation and divorce was feeling like I failed. Marriage means so much to me.  Yet, I felt like I failed my marriage, failed my vows, failed myself, failed my family, and failed God.  I felt lower than I had ever felt in my life.  Do you find yourself feeling that way?

For Christians marriage is more than a legal arrangement, it is a covenant. Feelings of failure when a marriage ends can be overwhelming.

But here’s the kicker…If you allow yourself to go through life seeing yourself as […]

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Is Your Ex or Soon-to-be-Ex Treating You Poorly?

Is Your Ex or Soon-to-be-Ex Treating You Poorly?

Do not be fooled. You cannot fool God. A man will get back whatever he plants! If a man does things to please his sinful old self, his soul will be lost.  If a man does things to please the Holy Spirit, he will have life that lasts forever.

Galatians 6:7-8 (NLV)

If you’re being mistreated by your ex or soon-to-be ex you may read this scripture and think, well at least he (or she) will get what he deserves in the end. But, this really isn’t a scripture about revenge.

Consider this…

Galatians […]

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Finding Power to Heal from Divorce

Finding Power to Heal from Divorce

Yesterday we had a bad storm and lost power.  As the sun settled in the sky and the room darkened I realized just how very dependent on electricity I am.  The pizza I had just prepared was quickly placed in the oven in the hopes that the oven would stay hot enough to cook it.  I had work to do but my laptop battery was fading quickly. There was no Internet anyway.  I shut down my phone so its battery would still have some life if I really needed it.  Without power, I was left in the dark trying to […]

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What’s Easter Got to Do with Divorce Recovery?

What’s Easter Got to Do with Divorce Recovery?

This Sunday is Easter. It’s an amazing time to focus on the power of God. Not only that, it’s a wonderful time to be reminded of just how very special you are to the Creator of all the universe.

Yes, you!

God loves you enough to send his only son to die for your sins. That means He loves you enough to take your place. To wash you clean with his own blood. Think about that.

Wow.

Jesus proved that there is life after death. And, he tells you that he will give life after death to you too. Now that’s some serious power […]

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Seeking God’s Direction for How to Deal with Divorce?

Divorce floods our lives with the need to cope with many changes.  It can be overwhelming.  Even if you’re not a praying person normally you may find yourself driven to seek God’s guidance on things that you just don’t know how to handle yourself.  Prayer is a powerful thing.

God, do I do this or that?

I know that some times when I get hung up in looking for an answer I realize that in my prayer of “do I do this, or do I do that” I end up giving God limited options.  Do you?

God’s possibilities are much bigger than that.

Divorce […]

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Can Divorced Christians Get Married?

Can Divorced Christians Get Married?

I’ve had a lot of questions recently about whether or not Christians are allowed to get married once they have been divorced.  If you’re a believer this can be a serious concern even if divorce wasn’t your idea.  If you want to know what your church teaches you’ll have to talk with your pastor because different churches do teach different things.  Actually, that’s even more reason for me to write this post.

If Christian churches can vary in what they teach on this topic, maybe our best answer lies in our conversations with God.  Whether you should remarry and whether remarrying […]

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Putting the Light Back in Your Heart when a Marriage Ends

Putting the Light Back in Your Heart when a Marriage Ends

I have come into the world as a light,
so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.
John 12:46 NIV

“I had just given birth to our first child,” says Roseanne. “I was still in the
hospital when in walked my husband saying he wanted a divorce.”

In an instant the darkness of divorce fell on Roseanne. Sometimes the end of a marriage comes like that. For others the darkness of divorce seeps in slowly as a marriage crumbles and fades.

Yes, having your marriage fail hurts, but you don’t have to stay in the […]

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10 Ways to Survive Valentine’s Day when You’re Divorced or Separated

10 Ways to Survive Valentine’s Day when You’re Divorced or Separated

Candy hearts, greeting cards, and advertisements…it’s hard to put on blinders to Valentine’s Day. From mid-January to mid-February reminders are everywhere. Love is in the air.

When you’re separated or divorced Valentine’s Day can be hard to take. All the brouhaha about that special someone reminds you that you are alone. It can be tough.

The Challenge

So, how do you re-frame Valentine’s Day to make it a good thing when you’re hurting from lost love? How do you put a smile on your face when you wish you had someone special in your life but you don’t now? How do you survive […]

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