You know God means for marriage to last forever. You know your marriage has fallen short of God’s perfect plan. Yet, here you are looking your own divorce square in the face. It’s a gut wrenching experience. Worse yet, you may be getting grief from fellow Christians who don’t understand what you’re going through at all.
Here are three things I want to be sure you know:
God still loves you!
Your identity is in Christ not your marital status.
God still offers you salvation and hope.
Building your relationship with God is fundamental to taking charge of your life again. Choosing to seek God […]
The person who asked this question could be really asking many things.
When will I stop hurting?
When will I get closure?
When will I fall in love again?
When will I feel joy again?
When will someone enter my life and make everything okay?
But, the answer to the question “When will my new life begin?” is now.
You may not be where you want to be now but this is where your new life has its roots. You have the option to either stay stuck where you are, or to tap into your ability to make prayerful choices that will move you on […]
Having your marriage fail is hard in so many ways it can be overwhelming. You have a lot to deal with emotionally, spiritually, and logistically. And, if you have children my guess is that you are also worried about how they will be, or have been, affected.
No wonder. You know that kids are always the victims of divorce. Divorce happens whether they like it or not. It changes their lives.
Yet, there are many things you can do to help your children cope with divorce.
I want to share a post with you from a blog called Thoughts in Progress. There Mason […]
When you’re hurting and lonely there can be a great hunger to fill the void left by your ex. The person you hoped would be there for you isn’t anymore. Yes, it’s lonely and it hurts.
It also creates a danger zone full of pitfalls.
Two Major Pitfalls to Avoid
Investing a great deal of energy in wanting someone back who has no intention of returning to you.
Believing that finding someone new to love will make everything better.
The first pitfall leaves you stuck when everything about your ex’s behavior says that person has moved on without you and isn’t looking back.
The second leaves […]
Just because you’re dealing with divorce doesn’t mean Valentine’s Day has to be gloomy. Nope, it doesn’t.
Yes, celebrations of love can remind you of your loss and it is important to process that loss. Yet, there are things you can do to make your Valentine’s Day happy.
No, I’m not crazy.
Here are 12 tips for celebrating Valentine’s Day as a divorced or divorcing person…
Give yourself some loving. Yes, you. Pamper yourself.
Make a list of your blessings. It may sound corny but making a list of your blessings reminds you that you are in fact blessed in so many ways. Thank God […]
Candy hearts, greeting cards, and advertisements…it’s hard to put on blinders to Valentine’s Day. From mid-January to mid-February reminders are everywhere. Love is in the air.
When you’re separated or divorced Valentine’s Day can be hard to take. All the brouhaha about that special someone reminds you that you are alone. It can be tough.
So, how do you re-frame Valentine’s Day to make it a good thing when you’re hurting from lost love? How do you put a smile on your face when you wish you had someone special in your life but you don’t now? How do you survive […]
For many people dealing with divorce is like dealing with death. Having your marriage die creates a sense of loss whether or not you are the one who ends up filing for divorce. And, when you experience such a huge loss, you grieve.
Its natural. But, what do you do with that grief?
You do well to face it. When you shove grief down it doesn’t get resolved. When you process through the grief you allow yourself to experience the emotions and resolve them.
Resolving emotions includes understanding the thoughts behind those emotions and making choices to move beyond those thoughts. That sounds […]
This stinks. My marriage is over but the divorce isn’t final yet. I don’t feel married but I’m not single. Just where am I suppose to place myself in all of this? I feel so lost.
You’re in what I call Limbo Land. It’s a stinking place to be on the one hand. But, if you look at it a different way it can be a healing time.
Shifting gears from married to divorced is huge. Limbo Land provides a time to process all this, deal with the pain and the changes, and clear your head. Seize the time in Limbo […]
Having your marriage fail can make you feel like life is over. Your sense of peace can vanish as you cope with the grief, guilt and turmoil of divorce. Starting over on your own can be daunting.
Granted, divorce isn’t to be taken lightly and we know that it is God’s design that marriage last a lifetime. But, if divorce is your reality please know that it isn’t the end of the world. Your sadness doesn’t have to be forever. God still loves you!
The hole in your soul can be filled. You will come out stronger on the […]
Elvis Presley recorded the classic song Blue Christmas in 1957. That’s a long time ago for a tune that is still on the radio. I imagine you’re familiar with its lyrics of, “I’ll have a blue Christmas without you.” The song hits home for anyone who faces Christmas after losing a love.
And so it goes with divorce. Christmas highlights our losses and reinforces our sense of loneliness. Christmases impacted by divorce are subject to being blue.
The First Christmas
My separation occurred about two weeks before Christmas. I must admit, I felt like decking something but it wasn’t the halls. Anger, rejection, […]