For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14
All the factors that go into having your marriage end can be real self-esteem dashers. It can be easy to feel less worthy, less desirable, and less loveable. This is especially true if you’ve been verbally or physically abused or if your spouse has left you for another.
You are not less.
You are the One and Only You
From abilities to interests, talents and skills, God gifted you in a special way valued by him. Crafted by the hand of God, there is no one just like you. You are more treasured by the God of the universe than you can imagine.
It only makes sense to believe that God intends for you to make the most of your talents, interests, and personality. Developing yourself in this way requires assuming responsibility for yourself and your growth. God means for you to seek him and to act to make your life happen.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you,” says Matthew 7:7.
Build Your Confidence
Self-doubt is a natural outgrowth of a marriage that did not work. Working through times of self-doubt by acting to develop yourself will help build your confidence. Building your confidence will not only result in feeling better about yourself, it will also improve your relationships with others.
Even on those days when confidence in yourself fails, you can have confidence in belonging to Christ. He loves you. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” says 2 Corinthians 5:17.
Move Yourself up on the Priority List
Marriage can bring many blessings, but also many demands. Often personal interests and goals give way to family commitments and spouse interests and goals. Children still need an appropriate place in your priorities, but don’t lose sight of making your own growth and development a priority too.
Nurturing yourself is not only self-renewing, it also enables you to support your children better and to maintain healthier relationships with the other people in your life.
Don’t Accept Inferior
Eleanor Roosevelt said,
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”
So true. You can’t control another person’s behavior but you can deny them the permission to make you feel inferior. God believes you to be of great value or he would not have sent his only son to die for you.
Lift your spirit. Turn your face to the heavens with thankfulness that you are the child of the living God. That makes you pretty awesome indeed!
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 NASB
*Adapted from Renee’s award-winning book, Peace after Divorce