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Awkward Limbo Land

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17 NIV

When you’re going through divorce you feel you don’t fit in anywhere,” says Jean Henderson. “You are neither single nor a part of a couple.”

If you’re going through or have been through a divorce, you know what Jean is talking about.

I call this Limbo Land–the awkward time and state of being between separation and divorce.

In Limbo Land, the reality of married life is over and your identity as a married person is vanishing–but you are still legally married. Life is in a major transition. Limbo Land can present challenges even in your church life. As one workshop participant points out, “I no longer feel like I fit with the married group, and I can’t join the singles group yet because they require I be unmarried.”

Despite its trials, Limbo Land offers a much-needed time for beginning to process life’s changes. It is an important time of getting your head together and redefining your life. Embrace Limbo Land as a time to cry out to God, settle your nerves, clear your head, and begin your journey to peace after divorce. Limbo Land will then serve its purpose and leave you on your way to a positive new life.

Benefiting from Limbo Land

It is important to realize that being alone does not have to be lonely. Use your alone time to work through grief and to get to know yourself. Make a list of your interests, strengths, and blessings. Consider your goals. Learn to be comfortable with yourself, by yourself. It is an awesome feeling.

Talk with God

Ponder this post and share your thoughts with God. Listen so that the Holy Spirit might fill you with wisdom and peace. What concrete actions do you need to take based on what God is saying to you?

Where are You on the Road to Finding Contentment?

  • Limbo Land is a land of opportunity–a chance to grow and heal.
  • Don’t let this valuable time go to waste. But where do you begin?
  • Start by working through the helpful content and questions in Renee’s book, Peace after Divorce.    You can also see if a Peace after Divorce group is already in your community or ask your church to start a group.


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