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More By: Renee Ettline

7 Ways to Stifle Healing from Divorce

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
7 Ways to Stifle Healing from Divorce

Yikes! A few years ago I broke my foot. Suddenly my plans for the next several weeks were brought to a halt. Okay, you’re hearing about my broken bone situation because it pales in comparison to all the ways divorce can bring abrupt and prolonged changes to a person’s life.

Divorce slams the brakes on the dreams you had when you got married. Divorce shifts your now and your future in a new direction. You may find yourself overwhelmed with change.

Life may feel crazy for a while which is normal when your life faces a huge change of course. […]

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Help for Domestic Violence Victims

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Help for Domestic Violence Victims

Abuse is never okay. Abuse is never deserved.

In addition to physical danger, abuse can hurt the victim and family in many ways.  While this website isn’t about domestic violence,  abuse can be a factor in divorce so we want to refer you to resources that may be of help.* Click the links below to visit each web page.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

The Hotline offers online chat 24/7, 365 days of the year. Their phone number is 1-800-799-7233 and their website is http://www.thehotline.org/

When you visit their website, you will get this alert so I want to go ahead and […]

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Getting through Your First Anniversary after Divorce

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Getting through Your First Anniversary after Divorce

The day is fast approaching. In fact, it is looming large in your mind.

In the past when this time of year rolled around you would be buying a card and maybe a gift for your spouse. There may have been a feeling of excitement in expectation of a special dinner, event, or even a romantic getaway. But, all the positive vibes have given way to divorce.

Now there is a hole where your heart used to be. Or, at least a sadness.

What do you do for your anniversary? Do you still buy him […]

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Where is God? Did He Leave Me Because of Divorce?

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Where is God? Did He Leave Me Because of Divorce?

No.  God doesn’t leave us.  God is there. God is with you, right now.

But, I understand the feeling because there were times when my marriage was ending that I too found it hard to feel God’s presence.

But, God was there. 

I think we know divorce isn’t in God’s plan and that knowledge hangs in our heads and muddles our spirits. We assume God is mad at us or we feel guilty for divorce even when it isn’t what we would choose. If you’ve made mistakes, ask God for forgiveness. Know that he is full of mercy and grace. He wants […]

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Tips on How to Tell Your Children You Will Divorce

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Tips on How to Tell Your Children You Will Divorce

How do you tell the children you are divorcing?  How will they react? How do you help them adjust?

Children are always on the receiving end of divorce.  Rarely is it what they would choose.   Ideally, parents will work together for the good of their children even in divorce.  But, if you’re dealing with an ex that declines a cooperative approach, you can still make choices that ease the transition for your children.

To guide you in this process I’ve put together a handy checklist of things for you to consider. I hope it helps you with this difficult task.

Tips for […]

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How Do I Learn to Trust Anyone Again after Divorce or Betrayal?

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
How Do I Learn to Trust Anyone Again after Divorce or Betrayal?

What a great question. The ability to trust is so often a casualty of divorce, at least for a while. I mean, after you’ve been betrayed in one way or another, it’s normal to become afraid to take chances with your heart. The deeper the betrayal, the harder it is to learn to trust. And, that fear of being hurt again can make you not trust anyone.

Start with Yourself

I think the first challenge is beginning to trust yourself again. You may start to wonder if you can make good judgement calls about who to trust. After all, you trusted someone […]

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Separation and Divorce: Surviving the Loneliness of Your Nights

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Separation and Divorce: Surviving the Loneliness of Your Nights

Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him….” Lamentations 2:19

The nights can be the worse. Loneliness settles in as darkness falls. The losses and uncertainties of divorce become magnified as our bodies tire and our minds grow weary from the day.

It’s only human.

It’s the perfect time to pour out our hearts to God. When our hearts are brimming with grief and fear we can unload those daunting emotions on our Heavenly Father. We can lift our hands […]

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Divorce Doesn’t Make You a Failure!

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Divorce Doesn’t Make You a Failure!

For me one of the worse things about separation and divorce was feeling like I failed. Marriage means so much to me.  Yet, I felt like I failed my marriage, failed my vows, failed myself, failed my family, and failed God.  I felt lower than I had ever felt in my life.  Do you find yourself feeling that way?

For Christians marriage is more than a legal arrangement, it is a covenant. Feelings of failure when a marriage ends can be overwhelming.

But here’s the kicker…If you allow yourself to go through life seeing yourself as […]

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Is Your Ex or Soon-to-be-Ex Treating You Poorly?

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Is Your Ex or Soon-to-be-Ex Treating You Poorly?

Do not be fooled. You cannot fool God. A man will get back whatever he plants! If a man does things to please his sinful old self, his soul will be lost.  If a man does things to please the Holy Spirit, he will have life that lasts forever.

Galatians 6:7-8 (NLV)

If you’re being mistreated by your ex or soon-to-be ex you may read this scripture and think, well at least he (or she) will get what he deserves in the end. But, this really isn’t a scripture about revenge.

Consider this…

Galatians […]

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Finding Power to Heal from Divorce

Posted on By: Renee Ettline
Finding Power to Heal from Divorce

Yesterday we had a bad storm and lost power.  As the sun settled in the sky and the room darkened I realized just how very dependent on electricity I am.  The pizza I had just prepared was quickly placed in the oven in the hopes that the oven would stay hot enough to cook it.  I had work to do but my laptop battery was fading quickly. There was no Internet anyway.  I shut down my phone so its battery would still have some life if I really needed it.  Without power, I was left in the dark trying to […]

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