More By: Renee Ettline

When Divorce Leaves You Feeling Helpless and Alone

When Divorce Leaves You Feeling Helpless and Alone

Divorce can be lonely.  You may feel like no one really understands what you are going through. Worse yet, you may feel like nobody really cares.   Even God may seem far away.

It’s tough and the pain is so personal.

The mere words of others can seem trite and shallow even when they are intended to comfort.  You need the support of those who really get it.  You need reinforcements to help you feel like you are not so alone and to help you see that the pain you feel can be healed.  You need reassurance that while the scars may linger, […]

Read more

I’ve Been Cheated On–Will the Pain in My Chest Ever Go Away?

I’ve Been Cheated On–Will the Pain in My Chest Ever Go Away?

Your chest literally hurts from the heartbreak. Your doctor can find no physical problem. But, inside you know it is likely the stress and strain of what has happened to your marriage.

He’s gone.* He’s found someone else and has made it clear he isn’t coming back. As much as you want to hate him, you still love him. You wonder why.

Finding out someone cheated on you doesn’t just wipe away your love instantly when you’ve loved deeply.

It’s normal for you to hurt under these circumstances. When you’ve worked and prayed to save your marriage and it still fails it is […]

Read more

Christians and Divorce

Christians and Divorce

You know God means for marriage to last forever.  You know your marriage has fallen short of God’s perfect plan. Yet, here you are looking your own divorce square in the face. It’s a gut wrenching experience. Worse yet, you may be getting grief from fellow Christians who don’t understand what you’re going through at all.

Here are three things I want to be sure you know:

God still loves you!
Your identity is in Christ not your marital status.
God still offers you salvation and hope.

Building your relationship with God is fundamental to taking charge of your life again. Choosing to seek God […]

Read more

When Will My New Life Begin?

When Will My New Life Begin?

The person who asked this question could be really asking many things.

When will I stop hurting?
When will I get closure?
When will I fall in love again?
When will I feel joy again?
When will someone enter my life and make everything okay?

But, the answer to the question “When will my new life begin?” is now. 
Yes, now!

You may not be where you want to be now but this is where your new life has its roots. You have the option to either stay stuck where you are, or to tap into your ability to make prayerful choices that will move you on […]

Read more

Helping Your Children Cope with Divorce (parenting)

Having your marriage fail is hard in so many ways it can be overwhelming.  You have a lot to deal with emotionally, spiritually, and logistically.   And, if you have children my guess is that you are also worried about how they will be, or have been, affected.

No wonder.  You know that kids are always the victims of divorce.  Divorce happens whether they like it or not.  It changes their lives.

Yet, there are many things you can do to help your children cope with divorce.

I want to share a post with you from a blog called Thoughts in Progress.  There Mason […]

Read more

Divorce: Hurting and Lonely

Divorce: Hurting and Lonely

When you’re hurting and lonely there can be a great hunger to fill the void left by your ex. The person you hoped would be there for you isn’t anymore. Yes, it’s lonely and it hurts.

It also creates a danger zone full of pitfalls.

Two Major Pitfalls to Avoid

Investing a great deal of energy in wanting someone back who has no intention of returning to you.
Believing that finding someone new to love will make everything better.

The first pitfall leaves you stuck when everything about your ex’s behavior says that person has moved on without you and isn’t looking back.

The second leaves […]

Read more

A Dozen Ways to Have a Great Valentine’s Day Despite Divorce

A Dozen Ways to Have a Great Valentine’s Day Despite Divorce

Just because you’re dealing with divorce doesn’t mean Valentine’s Day has to be gloomy. Nope, it doesn’t.

Yes, celebrations of love can remind you of your loss and it is important to process that loss. Yet, there are things you can do to make your Valentine’s Day happy.

No, I’m not crazy.

Here are 12 tips for celebrating Valentine’s Day as a divorced or divorcing person…

Give yourself some loving. Yes, you. Pamper yourself.
Make a list of your blessings. It may sound corny but making a list of your blessings reminds you that you are in fact blessed in so many ways. Thank God […]

Read more

10 Ways to Survive Valentine’s Day when You’re Divorced or Separated

10 Ways to Survive Valentine’s Day when You’re Divorced or Separated

Candy hearts, greeting cards, and advertisements…it’s hard to put on blinders to Valentine’s Day. From mid-January to mid-February reminders are everywhere. Love is in the air.

When you’re separated or divorced Valentine’s Day can be hard to take. All the brouhaha about that special someone reminds you that you are alone. It can be tough.

The Challenge

So, how do you re-frame Valentine’s Day to make it a good thing when you’re hurting from lost love? How do you put a smile on your face when you wish you had someone special in your life but you don’t now? How do you survive […]

Read more

Getting through Divorce Grief

Getting through Divorce Grief

For many people dealing with divorce is like dealing with death. Having your marriage die creates a sense of loss whether or not you are the one who ends up filing for divorce.  And, when you experience such a huge loss, you grieve.

Its natural. But, what do you do with that grief?

You do well to face it. When you shove grief down it doesn’t get resolved. When you process through the grief you allow yourself to experience the emotions and resolve them.

Resolving emotions includes understanding the thoughts behind those emotions and making choices to move beyond those thoughts. That sounds […]

Read more

Getting Out of Divorce Limbo Land

Getting Out of Divorce Limbo Land

This stinks. My marriage is over but the divorce isn’t final yet. I don’t feel married but I’m not single. Just where am I suppose to place myself in all of this? I feel so lost.

You’re in what I call Limbo Land. It’s a stinking place to be on the one hand. But, if you look at it a different way it can be a healing time.

Shifting gears from married to divorced is huge. Limbo Land provides a time to process all this, deal with the pain and the changes, and clear your head. Seize the time in Limbo […]

Read more