Last week we talked about whether Christians can marry after divorce. I hope you gained some insight from that article. But are you really ready to jump into a new romantic relationship?
Whether you’re already dating or contemplating dating, it’s scary isn’t it?
Well, because you are my blog reader I want to give you some free insights directly from my book, Peace after Divorce.
The questions below are written with the assumption you are already dating someone but they are worth pondering whether you’re already dating or just thinking about re-entering the dating scene.
Are You Ready for Romance? 8 Questions to Ask Yourself
Now is the time for a heart-to-heart talk with yourself. Pray for insight before answering the reality check questions below. Take a deep breath and get real with yourself.
- Are you dating because you are needy? Are you searching for someone to fill the loneliness or to provide reassurance that you are loveable?
- Are you using this relationship to try to heal yourself from divorce?
- Is dating an attempt to prove to your former spouse that you are desirable?
- Do you tolerate less than respectful behavior from the person you are dating? Do you find that you sometimes say yes when you really feel you should say no? Do you find yourself agreeing with things just to avoid losing the relationship?
- Have you taken time to fill your empty love pot with the love of God, the love of self, and the love of friends prior to entering this relationship?
- Are you dating this person because you now feel confident, whole, and ready to be an equal partner? Have you untied the emotional knot of your previous marriage(s)?
- Do you have a good sense of yourself as an individual? Have you taken time to discover your own interests and goals since your divorce but prior to this relationship?
- Can you be true to yourself to the point that you would be willing to let the person you are romantically involved with walk away rather than to sacrifice your sense of self or your values?
So Where Are You Now?
- Answering yes to any of the questions in numbers 1-4 may cast doubt in your mind about your readiness to be in a new relationship.
- Answering no to the questions in numbers 1-4 and yes to all of the questions in numbers 5-8, suggests much more solid ground for starting a new romantic relationship.
What do your answers to the preceding questions tell you about your readiness to be involved in a romantic relationship?
Making Information and Ideas Work
- How can neediness affect your ability to make good judgement calls in a dating relationship?
- Why is it important to fill your divorce-depleted love pot with the love of God, family and friends before becoming involved romantically with someone new?
- How can allowing God to make you whole improve the quality of your relationships when you date again?
Talk with God
Ponder this reading and share your thoughts with God. Listen so that the Holy Spirit might fill you with wisdom and peace. What concrete actions do you need to take based on what God is saying to you?
About the Author…
Renee Smith Ettline is author of the award-winning book, Peace after Divorce, and founder of After Divorce Ministries, LLC. Church-based divorce recovery workshops based on her work are offered around the country.
Stop the Pain and Live Again!
GET HELP…ORDER YOUR COPY OF PEACE AFTER DIVORCE right now and let Renee guide you through a healing process.
WANT TO HELP OTHERS? For information on how to offer a group at your church contact Renee or visit our For Churches page on this website. You can also see what pastors are saying about Peace after Divorce groups at their church.
*Peace after Divorce has been recognized as an exemplary Christian book by the 2013 Illumination Book Awards.
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This Christian divorce recovery blog posts every Wednesday morning.