Your heart smiles as you look at your children’s innocent sleeping faces. Your heart breaks as you wonder how the adult decision to separate and divorce will be dealt with by your off-spring. How they will handle your divorce is one of your greatest anxieties.
When two adults divorce, their children are affected no matter the kid’s ages. I’ll save talking about adult children for another post. Today let’s talk about parenting children of divorce who still live at home.
Fear and worry about the well-being of your children is understandable. As you deal with changes yourself you are probably acutely aware of the upheaval of divorce. But your children, like you, can adjust. In fact, you can do a number of things to help children cope with divorce starting with these eight:
- Make sure kids know that divorce is an adult issue. Because kids are by nature focused inwardly, they may feel like the divorce is their fault. Reassure them that it is not. Own responsibility for the adult decision that is divorce and never blame the kids.
- Let kids know how the separation and divorce will affect their daily routine and living arrangements.
- Never bad-mouth their other parent in hearing distance of your children.
- Let the children know that it is okay to love both parents.
- If your child is sad, let them know you are sad too but that together you will get through this and find happier times.
- Have confidence in your ability to be a good single parent. You can do this!
- Seek God’s wisdom and guidance and help your children to do the same. By modeling your faith in front of your kids and nurturing your children’s relationship with Christ you can have a positive life-long impact. “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” Psalm 34:4
- Be proactive about your own healing. By proactively working on your own healing from divorce you set yourself up to be a better parent.
Children are a precious gift from God. Like you, your children face major adjustments with divorce but you can make choices that help them to adjust. You can also help your children by becoming proactive about your own healing. Being happier and well adjusted yourself gives your children a better foundation for their own adjustment.
Christian Thought for Today:
God-loyal people, living honest lives, make it much easier for their children.
Proverbs 20:7 THE MESSAGE
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