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10 Ways to Survive Valentine’s Day when You’re Divorced or Separated

Candy hearts, greeting cards, and advertisements…it’s hard to put on blinders to Valentine’s Day. From mid-January to mid-February reminders are everywhere. Love is in the air.

When you’re separated or divorced Valentine’s Day can be hard to take. All the brouhaha about that special someone reminds you that you are alone. It can be tough.

The Challenge

So, how do you re-frame Valentine’s Day to make it a good thing when you’re hurting from lost love? How do you put a smile on your face when you wish you had someone special in your life but you don’t now? How do you survive Valentine’s Day when you hurt?

You change your mindset. It is possible to do.

Who Loves Ya Baby?

Who loves you just the way you are? Who sticks with you on a good day as well as when you’re brokenhearted? Who wants a relationship with you that will last for eternity?


God has amazing, unfailing, love for you.  It’s something to celebrate!

How to Change your Mindset

Even if you’re in a really low place and can’t imagine joy, just try this. Your grief will still be real but give yourself a reprieve. You CAN spend Valentine’s Day embracing the greatest love of all.

Here are some strategies for you:

  • Focus your mind on how much God loves you and how much you love him back.
  • Refocus your mind to God when it shifts back to your losses.
  • Thank the Lord for all that is good in your life.
  • Thank God for having a plan for a future and a hope in your life.
  • Thank God that he is close to you when you’re brokenhearted.
  • Thank God that he will lift your spirits.
  • Thank him for loving you enough to send Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
  • Sing your favorite praise songs to God.
  • Play praise music that inspires you.
  • Choose a favorite scripture and repeat it throughout the day.

You’ll be amazed at how praising God can lift your spirits and help you survive the grief. You’ll actually feel stronger and more loved.  Valentine’s Day can take on a new meaning for you.

In fact, you can use this strategy daily.

Start Planning Now

  1. How are you going to use Valentine’s Day to celebrate God’s love for you?
  2. How are you going to use Valentine’s Day to celebrate your love for God?

Christian Inspiration

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.” Psalm 31:7 NIV

This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24 KJV


About the Author

Renee Smith Ettline is founder of After Divorce Ministries, LLC and author of the book Peace after Divorce as well as the Peace after Divorce group curriculum for churches.  Renee is also sponsor and administrator of the online Separation & Divorce Christian Community on Facebook.


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